So here are some random musings on news articles that have been gathering dust in my files.
Jury backs hospital that deported patient: Good for them, both the jury and the hospital. One less illegal alien sucking up social services.
Steele: I'll Woo Blacks To GOP with "Fried Chicken and Potato Salad": D'oh. If they hadn't said Steele and GOP, I would have been thinking Biden.
Man calls 911 to save him from police: Retard.
Texting Teen Falls Down Manhole: See above comment. Her mother plans to sue for the gross factor. Teach your kid to look where she is going. The DEP workers ought to sue her for endangering them. I mean 130 pounds of idiot landing on your head has gotta hurt.
Humans Glow in Visible Light: How cool is that?
Coldest Object in Space Is Very Unnatural: On a related note, the coldest object on Earth is reported to be Hilary's no-no parts.
Cats Do Control Humans, Study Finds: Duh!
Dead shark abandoned on Miami street: This certainly adds a new terror to being a pedestrian.
Bill O'Reilly Says Jackson Is No Black Icon: Michael Jackson is black?
Miranda Rights for Terrorists: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will justify your pistol-whipping. You have the right to an undertaker....er attorney.
Suspect in soldier shooting says he was justified: So is your immediate execution.
Will Obama Raise Taxes on Middle Class?: As surely as night follows day.
House health plan to boost taxes on rich: Are there any rich people left. I thought the libs wanted to protect the endangered species.
Obama on burden of fixing economy: 'Give it to me': Because he has done so well up until now.
'Cash for clunkers' burns through a cool $1 billion in a week: This program was supposed to run until fall. Another reason these guys should not run our health care?
Health Official Have to be Healthy and Trim?: No but it is hard to take a fat doctor serious when they tell you to lose weight. Think a doctor with a smoke hanging out of his mouth telling you that smoking is bad for you.
Land mine left in Goodwill donation box: Goodwill enters arms race. Says they will fight against the Salvation Army and their "Axis of Evil."
Peeing in The Public Pool: One In Five People Do It: Ewwwwwwww!
Teen Tries to Auction Off Naked Pics of Mom: Sicker than usual.
NYC aids homeless with one-way tickets home: Should read, "NYC to Homeless, Get Out!"
Lottery Winner Can't Stop Losing: My heart bleeds, really it does.
This is totally gonna be my daughter -
When is it OK for kids to run around naked?: Uhhhhhh, this is news?
So ends tonight's musings on the idiocy that is the human species.