Wednesday, December 22, 2010

More Birthday Wishes

Here is a birthday shout out to my friend Blue Wolfess from the ...View to Thrill...Not!!! blog. Hopefully I got this birthday put into my calendar correctly because the last time I offered birthday wishes, to her old man no less, I was exactly one month late. I still lay the blame on him for giving me the wrong date, but I digress. Happy Birthday Blue.

P.S. I am not sure what to buy Blue and G-Man's boys for Christmas. I could get them something loud and annoying, or something destructive that they will use to wreck up the house like I did last year, which let us face facts, this is one of the best things about other people's children and Christmas. Any Advice???

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

A Story About the REAL Meaning of Christmas

The True Story of Rudolph


A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night.

His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bob's wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer. Little Barbara couldn't understand why her mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad's eyes and asked, "Why isn't Mommy just like everybody else's Mommy?" Bob's jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob's life. Life always had to be different for Bob.

Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he'd rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn's bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums. Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938.

Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn't even afford to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined to make one - a storybook! Bob had created an animal character in his own mind and told the animal's story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling. Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose. Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story doesn't end there.

The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book. Wards went on to print, "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph. That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book.

In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter. But the story doesn't end there either.

Bob's brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore, it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry. "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of "White Christmas."


The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning back to bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn't so bad. In fact, being different can be a blessing.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Joke of the Week

(Eat, Drink and be Merry)

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can, and quickly. It's rare . . . You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it and have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Joke of the Week

Tip O' the Hat to my Dad for this week's chuckle. I hope it brightens everyone's day.

The Amish are a "Non-violent" people!

An Amish Farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand.
The Amish Farmer shouts, "Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser, die Kuhe und die Schweine haben hineingeschissen!"
(Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows and the pigs have shat in it!")
The man shouts back, "I am a government employee working directly for The President. I am too important to have been bothered to learn your language so I don't understand your gibberish. Speak English!"
The Amish Farmer shouts back in English, "Use two hands, you'll get more!"

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

More Emanations from Vicodinland

Surgery today. I am excited and more than a little nervous. Wish me luck. Be sure to vote or you are no better than dirty lib. This might very well be our last chance to take our country back without violence.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Joke of the Week

Tip O' the Hat to my beautiful wife, Shelly, for sending this joke on to me. The comments in green are my addition. Enjoy.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. (Must be a Christian Democrat.)

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. (Hence The Chosen One's successes.)

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. (Actually I want to die after a particularly pleasant evening spent in the company of a twenty year-old redhead named Cindi and a bottle of Gran Patrón Burdeos.)

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a BMW. (Advice for the Chosen One?)

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. (Something a particularly witty leftie said to me when he could not beat a logical argument by explaining how he "felt" about the topic.)

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. (Congress?)

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. (The end of that conversation I had with the witty leftie.)

We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public. (Well some of us. Liberals might want to take this one to heart.)

War does not determine who is right -- only who is left. (Something the terrorists understand and we have yet to learn.)

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. (This is the best description of why liberals do not understand PAYGo.)

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. (That old saw about the early bird just proves that the worm should have stayed in bed. -Robert Heinlein)

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening" and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. (Especially lately.)

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. (To steal from everyone makes you a congressman.)

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station. (Congress is where common sense stops.)

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? (I never have this problem, I use Boy Scout Juice.)

Some people are like Slinkies, not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs. (Comment withheld to protect me from the Secret Service.)

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish. (So Long and Thanks for All the Fish)

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks. (Something my wife told me the other day.)

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. (Useful huh?)

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says"If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR." (Whenever I see next of kin, I always put down "Barbie".)

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. (Presidential Policy since January '09.)

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? (There is a white mark on my fleece pullover because of something like this.)

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy. (Correction, we think we are "Dead Sexy".)

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (Congress again.)

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. (Or a psychopath.)

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. (Bounce or splash?)

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! (And you are just jealous because they talk to me and not you.)

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. (Must be China.)

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. (And all this time I thought it was the art of saying "Good Doggie" while looking for a big stick. Huh, who knew?)

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. (Where I was raised it was, "especially when you wish they were.)

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. (Amen)

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. (Kind of like Grant on Mythbusters. (See the Shark Week Special))

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. (The Chosen One again.)

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. (IRS?)

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. (Well maybe not.)

I always take life with a grain of salt... plus a slice of lemon .... and a shot of tequila. (Gran Patrón Burdeos again.....yum!)

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. (I prefer Red Adair's method.....BOOM!)

You're never too old to learn something stupid. (Too many presidential speeches.)

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. (Or use a shotgun.)

Nostalgia .... it just isn't what it used to be. (Neither are the winters you get these days. Why, back in my day........)

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it. (Kind of like a politician faced with the truth.)

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child? (I must be slow, we are discussing a third.)

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. (Your purchase is pretty chancy too.)

Follow your dreams - all except the one where you are naked in church. (Especially if they are throwing little pickles at you.)

Corduroy Pillow Cases are making headlines lately. (Soooooooo bad!)

I like cats too, let's swap recipes. (MMMMMMMMMMMM! Vietnamese food!)

I Like Cooking With Wine, sometimes I even put it in the food. (But only sometimes!)

Dyslexics Have More nuf. (Says who?)

Sometimes too much to drink is STILL not enough. (There is no such thing as too much to drink, until you hit your thirties.)

I may be a schizophrenic, but at least I have each other. (Those little voices you are so jealous of again.)

In just two days, tomorrow Will be yesterday. (And two days ago, yesterday was tomorrow.)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Biden the Artist

There was some SNAFU with my voter registration this year so I had to go down to the County Elections Office. Having never been inside my county building I got a little lost and was wandering around. I passed by the Sheriff's civil office and noticed that there was a big cork-board outside just full of wanted posters. I stopped to looking them over when I noticed this one:

It blows my mind. I mean, I knew that the government had suddenly decided to declare the potato unhealthy, thus alienating America's potato farmers, a major food crop here in the Northwest by the way. I was also aware that the Feds want to tighten there grip on our lives by 0utlawing the humble potato from the public-dole system a.k.a. the Federal School Lunch Program, thus controlling what our kids can and can not eat. However, I was not aware that The Chosen One had let that moron Biden back into the crayon box. Apparently they also let him design the informational poster commanding us peasants that we are not to associate with the potato. Oh well, I guess it keeps him quit.

Election 2010: Ride the Conservative Wave

I just filled out my ballot over my lunch break. I am very excited for this election. Even though I doubt there is much we conservatives can do to roll back the tide of Socialism, we can at the very least gridlock The Idiot-in-Chief and defund his nonsense CommieCare bill. I also volunteer to buy him a Slurpee to sip when we put him in the back seat. Cherry or Coke flavored Mr. President?

American Patriot/Hero of the Week

Tip O' the Hat to Proof over at the Proof Positive blog for this week's hero.

Medal of Honor

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

First Lieutenant Charles P. Murray, Jr.

For commanding Company C, 30th Infantry, displaying supreme courage and heroic initiative near Kaysersberg, France, on 16 December 1944, while leading a reinforced platoon into enemy territory. Descending into a valley beneath hilltop positions held by our troops, he observed a force of 200 Germans pouring deadly mortar, bazooka, machine gun, and small arms fire into an American battalion occupying the crest of the ridge. The enemy's position in a sunken road, though hidden from the ridge, was open to a flank attack by 1st Lt. Murray's patrol but he hesitated to commit so small a force to battle with the superior and strongly disposed enemy. Crawling out ahead of his troops to a vantage point, he called by radio for artillery fire. His shells bracketed the German force, but when he was about to correct the range his radio went dead. He returned to his patrol, secured grenades and a rifle to launch them and went back to his self-appointed outpost. His first shots disclosed his position; the enemy directed heavy fire against him as he methodically fired his missiles into the narrow defile. Again he returned to his patrol. With an automatic rifle and ammunition, he once more moved to his exposed position. Burst after burst he fired into the enemy, killing 20, wounding many others, and completely disorganizing its ranks, which began to withdraw. He prevented the removal of 3 German mortars by knocking out a truck. By that time a mortar had been brought to his support. 1st Lt. Murray directed fire of this weapon, causing further casualties and confusion in the German ranks. Calling on his patrol to follow, he then moved out toward his original objective, possession of a bridge and construction of a roadblock. He captured 10 Germans in foxholes. An eleventh, while pretending to surrender, threw a grenade which knocked him to the ground, inflicting 8 wounds. Though suffering and bleeding profusely, he refused to return to the rear until he had chosen the spot for the block and had seen his men correctly deployed. By his single-handed attack on an overwhelming force and by his intrepid and heroic fighting, 1st Lt. Murray stopped a counterattack, established an advance position against formidable odds, and provided an inspiring example for the men of his command.
1st. Lt. Charles P. Murray: We humbly salute you and thank you for your service.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Global Warming Wednesday

Tip O' the Hat to Ray Schneider at Political Brambles for this post on the growing skepticism in the pervasive Global Warming Idiocy. Just a thought.......If the computer models can only predict the weather out to five days or so with any kind of accuracy, what the hell makes these people think that their models are any good at a year, let alone twenty? Just sayin'!

Global Climate Alarmism Being Overwhelmed by Critical Thinking

SEE HERE Bunk is bunk. Global climate alarmism is totally unmotivated by serious science. That's why all the alarmists are climate modelers. It takes relatively little critical thought to realize that there are fundamental foundational problems with the whole story line. My mantra is always "Show me the data" and what I get for my trouble is fundamentally flawed, unvalidated climate models that in many cases are shown to be agenda driven and driven by data that was cherry picked from the beginning. That's called propaganda not science. The world is waking up and about time.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Super Special Monday Night Football Joke

Number 92 should not be allowed to sit next to number 93, at least at televised games.

Happy Birthday Old Man

Here is a shout out to my good friend G-Man over at The Pickle. He is like one hundred years old, or something, today. Many happy returns, and say hello to the family for me.

Apparently I had the wrong date written down in my calendar. His birthday was last month. Opps!

Joke of the Week

Tip O' the Hat to Doug H. for this week's joke. I have to say, this is a perfect example of why you should always punch your weight. I hate getting put into to a foursome, it always seems to include that one guy who is so much better than everybody else, and he wants to help you out.

Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day.

Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.

Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the green.

The third guy got up and randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down the drain spout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hit a stone and bounced out over the water onto a lily pad, where it rested quietly. Suddenly a very large bullfrog jumped up on a lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball, which bounced right into the cup for a hole in one.

Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad."

Thursday, October 21, 2010

American Patriot/Hero of the Week

This week's heroes are bought to you by Sgt. Tony Hawkins, USASOC PAO and the U.S. Army's official website.

Seven Soldiers from the 7th Special Forces Group (Airborne) were awarded the Silver Star during a ceremony at the JFK Auditorium, Aug. 16, for their valorous actions while deployed to Afghanistan between 2007 and 2008. From right to left the recipients are: Sgt. 1st Class Mario Pinilla, Staff Sgt. Daniel Gould, Sgt. 1st Class Jonathan Clouse, Master Sgt. Julio Bocanegra, Sgt. 1st Class Antonio Gonzalez, Chief Warrant Officer Mark Roland, and Spc. Rene Nunez, a member of the 82nd Airborne Division who accepted the posthumous award for his brother Sgt. 1st Class David Nunez.

FORT BRAGG, N.C. (USASOC News Service, Aug. 17, 2010) -- Thunderous applause filled the John F. Kennedy Auditorium here as seven Soldiers, decorated with the nation's third highest honor, took the stage at the conclusion of a 7th Special Forces Group (Airborne) valor award ceremony Aug. 16.

The Soldiers were each awarded the Silver Star for heroic acts of valor displayed during the group's deployment to Afghanistan from 2007-2008. One of the medals was posthumously awarded to Sgt. 1st Class David Nunez, which was presented to his brother, Spc. Rene Nunez of the 82nd Airborne Division.

"[These men] laid it all on the line and risked absolutely everything they care about in life for the sake of the mission at hand, and their partner and Afghan forces teammates on their left and right," said Col. James Kraft, 7th SFG (A) commander. "Ladies and gentlemen, that's true honor."

Lt. Gen. John F. Mulholland, commanding general of the U.S. Army Special Operations Command, was the host of the ceremony. He spoke of the pride and honor he felt in leading the men and women of Army Special Operations.

"Every day in Iraq, Afghanistan and in other countries around the world, American Special Operations Soldiers routinely and consistently exhibit enormously powerful acts of valor and courage on the field of battle," Mulholland said.

As each of the seven Soldiers took the stage to be presented with a medal, vignettes were read about the astonishing actions they took to stop the enemy and protect their comrades.

"When confronted with danger in the fog and friction of close combat, without hesitation you went to the sound of the guns," Kraft said. "You took care of business first rather than taking care of yourself. Each of these Soldiers has a story to tell, but quite frankly, they're too modest to tell it."

Kraft spoke of the uncommon valor the men exhibited in the heat of battle, though he said words alone could not do them justice.

"Though, mere words cannot adequately express and describe one's willingness, one's decision to charge a numerically superior enemy force," he said, "or to maneuver into the jaws of a sophisticated enemy ambush to recover his Afghan brothers. To continue forward at all cost when hit by enemy fire, or to continue to engage the enemy and protect the lives of his teammates, even when engulfed in flames."

However, if you were to ask one of these Soldiers if they had done anything special, the typical response would be, "I was just doing my job."

"I didn't really think about doing it, I just did it," said Staff Sgt. Mario A. Pinilla, a Special Forces communication sergeant with 1st Battalion, 7th SFG (A), referring to his actions on Aug. 20, 2008. "If I had to do it again, I definitely would."

While conducting a combat reconnaissance patrol in the Khaz Oruzgan district of Afghanistan, his team, ODA 7134, was ambushed by anti-Afghan forces. During the ensuing firefight, Pinilla sprinted 75 meters across open terrain into incoming enemy fire to an wounded teammate, Staff Sgt. Daniel Gould, a SF engineer sergeant, who was pinned down. When Pinilla reached his teammate, he dove in front of him, providing his own body as cover for his wounded comrade as he proceeded to suppress the enemy ambush line.

After 10 minutes of returning fire, Pinilla suffered two gunshot wounds and was critically wounded. His teammates fought to return him to safety, all the while Pinilla continued to return fire with his 9-mm Beretta handgun. Due to the severity of his wounds, he was evacuated from the battlefield and eventually to Walter Reed Army Medical Center where he began a slow recovery process.

"It's about trusting the man to your left and right, and knowing that he will do the right thing and watch your back," he said. "That's what I was doing for him [Gould] and he did the same for me. I wouldn't be here today if not for him."

Gould said it was the closeness his team shared that enabled them to risk their lives for each other.

"When you have the camaraderie that we have, the actions become instantaneous," Gould said. "The cohesion that is built within the team is key."

It is that camaraderie and familiarity within the team that allows its members to perform such acts of heroism. Whether it was Sgt. 1st Class Jonathan Clouse running into the kill zone of an ambush, while he himself was wounded, to provide medical aid to a wounded teammate; or Sgt. 1st Class David Nunez remaining in a vehicle engulfed in flames in order to discard explosives and ammunition, to prevent secondary explosions and ensure others were not hurt or killed.

"Where on earth do we get men like these?" Kraft said. "They're here among us today. How fortunate, proud and humbled we are to be in the true company of heroes. We know full well the tremendous cost that comes with that kind of devotion, and we will never forget the sacrifice."

Brave men one and all. These are the type of heroes our parents had, and the type of heroes our children need.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Global Warming Wednesday

Tip O' the Hat, again, to the Green Hell Blog for this week's "Green" atrocity.

Energy efficiency is not a jobs policy

The American Council for an Energy Efficient Economy (ACEEE) just released its state energy efficiency scorecard.

Spurred by ACEEE’s ranking of California as the most energy efficient state and the fact that California is only exceeded by Michigan and Nevada in unemployment, we ran a simple regression of ACEEE energy efficiency rankings versus state unemployment rankings according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics for August 2010.

Unemployment ranking was positively correlated (slope=.15) with energy efficiency ranking — i.e., states with higher unemployment rankings tended to have higher energy efficiency rankings.

ACEEE claims that energy efficiency creates jobs — and maybe it does. But do the jobs created through energy efficiency efforts wind up destroying other jobs — and more of them?

Energy efficiency is a policy of contraction, not one of growth — and job gains only occur during periods of growth. While energy efficiency may make sense on a case-by-case basis, blindly implemented on a societal scale, it is a suicidal policy.

There is plenty of energy out there. We need to put as much of it to good use as soon as possible to get our economy and standard of living back on the positive track.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Joke of the Week

Tip O' the Hat to my sister-in-law Katee H. for these technical funnies.

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet, it's still on my desk. Sorry.

Tech support: Click on the "My Computer" icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day, how may I help you?
Male customer: Hello, I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "Start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.

Customer: I have problems printing in red..
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah...................thank you.

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah, that one does work.

Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter "V" as in Victor, the number "7".
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

Customer: Can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.

Tech support: Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a "P".
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.

If you have done any of these things, place your computer back into the box it came in at time of purchase and return it to the place you bought it, you are to stupid to own this piece of equipment.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Emanations from Vicodin Land

I have received several emails from you guys asking about my health in response to the post I published informing everyone that I had committed an act of unprecedented, for me anyway, bone-headedness that had severely injured my knee. I suppose I will give in, just this once, to peer pressure popular demand and publish an update. Since my original post, I have made the more than two-hundred mile trip to OHSU for a consultation with, supposedly, the best sports-medicine doc in all of Oregon. According to him, I really messed up this time, and there will be far reaching, probably permanent, consequences. It is likely that I will be crippled in that knee to some greater or lesser extent that remains to be seen, and arthritis is a foregone conclusion. Who knew that go-cart racing was so dangerous? First let me say that for the time being, I am off the crutches and I am now using a cane. (Check out the link, flames make you go faster, proven fact, look it up!) The doctor also released me from the Hell that was the straight-jacket-like brace the emergency room originally inflicted on me and put me into a much more comfortable, articulated brace that can lock for walking or bend for sitting.

Here is the damage I have done to the knee: I have torn the ACL and PCL. This is not new, the other orthopedic doctor told me that. What is new however, is the fact that it is too damaged to be fixed, so it will have to be replaced, so that means a tissue transplant........from a cadaver. (Ominous music here.) In all honesty it does not bother me in the least, but many, especially my female friends, give me comments such as, "eewwww!", "That's gross!" and Blue Wolfess came up with the moniker "Zombie Knee." (BRAAAAAAAAINNNSSSSS!) I tore the MCL off of one side, apparently the recovery for that type of injury is longer but more complete then if I had torn the ligament itself. He thinks that the LCL has a grade 1 tear (ten percent or less), and he thinks that it will heal on it's own, but that he will take a gander while he is in there and take any steps if necessary. Beyond that I have an extruded (herniated) medial meniscus that is torn (probably) that will need to be sewn up and shoved back in. Lastly there is a fracture of the Tibia that no one seems to give a damn about, but has probably healed by now, so that is to the good.

The prognosis is that I will walk again without crutches or a cane, someday, and that I will probably be able to take stairs without a limp, maybe, but that I will likely never regain full range-of-motion. For example, I will never be able to squat on my haunches, sit "Indian Style," and probably not run more than a few hundred feet at a time. Some of this impacts my life more than others, obviously, as I don't sit "Indian Style" very often at my time of life. Others will have great impact. I would like to be able to teach my youngest how to ride her first big-girl bike for example, something that requires running, but that is a few years off yet, so we will see.

The doctor's office and the insurance company had a snafu in their communication, so the office manager told the scheduler to remove me from the surgical schedule until it was cleared up. This would have been at least acceptable, if they had bothered to tell me. Fortunately I had to call for some information and that when I found this part out, which is nice because I would have been awfully put out if I had showed up to an OR of blank stares and comments of, "Well your not on the schedule for today." Regardless I will be having some strong words with the doc's office manager. I am awfully vexed with the her, to say the least.

Other than that, there are good days, and bad. The other day the pressure dropped ahead of a rain storm and I tell you, I thought I was gonna die from the pain. It just throbbed like a angry ball of agony. Other days, nothing unless the brace slips. All in all things are good, my pain is well managed and both the family and myself are well. I was even released back to work about three weeks ago and most days are alright. Even though my surgery has been pushed back, my date is still not too far away, early November, and I am looking forward to the repair job, if not the 2 year recovery time. I will say that I am more than ready to be done with this whole thing, and would give good money to do so, and I am hopeful that I will have a good recovery and regain much of my range-of-motion. I will try to remember to keep you all updated from time to time so that my mailbox does not fill up with, "What is going on with your knee?" emails.

American Patriot/Hero of the Week

This week's hero was recently honored at the White House where his parents were presented with his, posthumously awarded, Medal of Honor. Staff Sergeant Robert James Miller is the third soldier to be awarded the Medal of Honor for their actions as part of Operation Enduring Freedom.

Staff Sergeant Miller, a member of the Army's elite special forces unit,The Green Berets, was part of a mixed team of Afghan and Coalition forces, approximately two dozen strong, on a combat patrol in Kunar Province near the Pakistani border on January 25, 2008 when they spotted insurgents massing in a structure in the patrol area. The team opened fire on the insurgents while a team member called for close-air support which disrupted the enemy attack. While moving in to clear the area, the surviving insurgents in the structure, and the members of an ambush hidden in the surrounding surrounding valley walls, attacked, wounding the team captain and others.

While the commander was being pulled out of the line of fire, Miller laid down suppressive counter-fire on multiple enemy positions and moved away from his team drawing the enemy fire. His actions allowed the remainder of the team to regroup, find protection in the sparse cover and to return fire. Sergeant Miller was injured through both sides of his chest by enemy fire, but continued to radio enemy positions to his team while returning fire with his M249 and tossing grenades. Eventually his gun fell silent.

His team, surrounded by the enemy and under heavy fire, rushed forward to pull him to safety. The team fought for over two hours in an effort to retrieve Miller's body. The team members attempting to recover Miller were pushed back several times, taking several more casualties, but managed to kill enough of the enemy that when allied reinforcements arrived, they were able to retrieve his body.

The after action reports state that Miller's small team had engaged over one-hundred and fifty insurgents while suffering five wounded and one dead. Staff Sergeant is credited with killing sixteen of the enemy and wounding thirty others. Below is the text of Staff Sergeant Robert James Miller's Medal of Honor citation:

"For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty: Staff Sergeant Robert J. Miller distinguished himself by extraordinary acts of heroism while serving as the Weapons Sergeant in Special Forces Operational Detachment Alpha 3312, Special Operations Task Force-33, Combined Joint Special Operations Task Force-Afghanistan during combat operations against an armed enemy in Kunar Province, Afghanistan on January 25, 2008. While conducting a combat reconnaissance patrol through the Gowardesh Valley, Staff Sergeant Miller and his small element of U.S. and Afghan National Army soldiers engaged a force of 15 to 20 insurgents occupying prepared fighting positions. Staff Sergeant Miller initiated the assault by engaging the enemy positions with his vehicle’s turret-mounted Mark-19 40 millimeter automatic grenade launcher while simultaneously providing detailed descriptions of the enemy positions to his command, enabling effective, accurate close air support. Following the engagement, Staff Sergeant Miller led a small squad forward to conduct a battle damage assessment. As the group neared the small, steep, narrow valley that the enemy had inhabited, a large, well-coordinated insurgent force initiated a near ambush, assaulting from elevated positions with ample cover. Exposed and with little available cover, the patrol was totally vulnerable to enemy rocket propelled grenades and automatic weapon fire. As point man, Staff Sergeant Miller was at the front of the patrol, cut off from supporting elements, and less than 20 meters from enemy forces. Nonetheless, with total disregard for his own safety, he called for his men to quickly move back to covered positions as he charged the enemy over exposed ground and under overwhelming enemy fire in order to provide protective fire for his team. While maneuvering to engage the enemy, Staff Sergeant Miller was shot in his upper torso. Ignoring the wound, he continued to push the fight, moving to draw fire from over one hundred enemy fighters upon himself. He then again charged forward through an open area in order to allow his teammates to safely reach cover. After killing at least 10 insurgents, wounding dozens more, and repeatedly exposing himself to withering enemy fire while moving from position to position, Staff Sergeant Miller was mortally wounded by enemy fire. His extraordinary valor ultimately saved the lives of seven members of his own team and 15 Afghanistan National Army soldiers. Staff Sergeant Miller’s heroism and selflessness above and beyond the call of duty, and at the cost of his own life, are in keeping with the highest traditions of military service and reflect great credit upon himself and the United States Army."

Staff Sergeant Miller was survived by his parents and seven brothers and sisters. He is a true American hero who sacrificed himself for his fellow soldiers, from several countries, for the Afghan people to have a chance to be free and for his country. Here is another example of an American who's story I feel truly honored to tell.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Global Warming Wednesday

This weeks post is brought to you by greenhellblog guessed it, the Green Hell Blog. Here he debunks the electioneering ad by the Green Knight of Global Warming, Michael Mann. Nothing shines the light like the truth.

Michael Mann: Vote Democratic and save me from jail!

Poor, poor pitiful Michael Mann. Check out his op-ed in last Friday’s Washington Post — our comments in bracketed bold.

Get the anti-science bent out of politics
By Michael E. Mann
Friday, October 8, 2010; A17

As a scientist [Wanna poll that assertion?], I shouldn’t have a stake in the upcoming midterm elections, but unfortunately, it seems that I — and indeed all my fellow climate scientists — do. [Republicans = Inquisition, don't ya know...]

Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) has threatened that, if he becomes chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, he will launch what would be a hostile investigation of climate science. The focus would be on e-mails stolen [There's no evidence that the e-mails were "stolen."] from scientists at the University of East Anglia in Britain last fall that climate-change deniers have falsely claimed demonstrate wrongdoing by scientists, including me. [As between so-called climate-change deniers" and Michael Mann, "falsely" and "wrongdoing" only apply to Mann.] Rep. James Sensenbrenner (R-Wis.) may do the same if he takes over a committee on climate change and energy security.

My employer, Penn State University, exonerated me [False: PSU never really investigated Mann; it more or less just took his word that he had done nothing wrong. Since there was no genuine investigation, he could not have been genuinely "exonerated."] after a thorough investigation [LOL!] of my e-mails in the East Anglia archive. Five independent investigations in Britain and the United States, and a thorough recent review by the Environmental Protection Agency, also have cleared the scientists of accusations of impropriety. [All were as whitewashey as PSU's. "Independent" is probably not the right adjective to describe the investigations; "staged" is much more accurate.]

Nonetheless, Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli is investigating my previous employer, the University of Virginia, based on the stolen e-mails. [Even if the e-mails were stolen, how exactly does that exonerate Mann? BTW, Daniel Ellsberg stole files (Pentagon Papers) and he was/is a hero of the Left.] A judge rejected his initial subpoena, finding that Cuccinelli had failed to provide objective evidence of wrongdoing. [The judge said that Cuccinelli was within his rights to file such subpoenas and that he needed to be more specific as to what he was looking for.] Undeterred, Cuccinelli appealed the decision to the Virginia Supreme Court and this week issued a new civil subpoena.

What could Issa, Sensenbrenner and Cuccinelli possibly think they might uncover now, a year after the e-mails were published? [Evidence of f-r-a-u-d.]

The truth is that they don’t expect to uncover anything. Instead, they want to continue a 20-year assault on climate research, questioning basic science and promoting doubt where there is none. [No, they are just questioning whether the hockey stick was a fraud and whether a fraud was perpetrated on taxpayers.]

Cuccinelli, in fact, rests his case largely on discredited claims that Rep. Joe Barton (R-Tex.) made during hearings in 2005 at which he attacked me and my fellow researchers. [Discredited? By who? When? Where? Any names? Details?] Then-Rep. Sherwood Boehlert (R-N.Y.) had the courage and character to challenge Barton’s attacks. We need more political leaders like him today. [Boehlert = RINO]

We have lived through the pseudo-science that questioned the link between smoking cigarettes and lung cancer [Tobacco company hijinks = Michael Mann innocence?], and the false claims questioning the science of acid rain and the hole in the ozone layer. [What false claims is he referring to? Does he know anything about either? Or is this just more guilt by Mann-uendo?] The same dynamics and many of the same players are still hard at work, questioning the reality of climate change. [No one questions "the reality of climate change"; it's the causes and drivers that are being debated.]

The basic physics and chemistry of how carbon dioxide and other human-produced greenhouse gases trap heat in the lower atmosphere have been understood for nearly two centuries. Overloading the atmosphere with carbon dioxide from burning fossil fuels is heating the planet, shrinking the Arctic ice cap, melting glaciers and raising sea levels. It is leading to more widespread drought, more frequent heat waves and more powerful hurricanes. Even without my work, or that of the entire sub-field of studying past climates, scientists are in broad agreement on the reality of these changes and their near-certain link to human activity. [These last three sentences are disputed by skeptics.]

Burying our heads in the sand would leave future generations at the mercy of potentially dangerous changes in our climate. [Humans have always been at the mercy of nature. Fossil fuels have greatly lessened our vulnerability.] The only sure way to mitigate these threats is to reduce global greenhouse gas emissions dramatically over the next few decades. [Really? No more bad weather if we reduce CO2 levels?] But even if we don’t reduce emissions, the reality of adapting to climat

e change will require responses from government at all levels. [There is no evidence that reducing greenhouse gas emissions will have any discernible effect at all on the climate.]

Challenges to policy proposals for how to deal with this problem should be welcome — indeed, a good-faith debate is essential for wise public policy-making. [Quite a statement from someone who tried to silence critics.]

But the attacks against the science must stop. [No one is attacking science. We're attacking junk science.] They are not good-faith questioning of scientific research. They are anti-science. [Mann accuses his opponents of what he is doing — an old trick of narcissists and Communists.]

How can I assure young researchers in climate science that if they make a breakthrough in our understanding about how human activity is altering our climate that they, too, will not be dragged through a show trial at a congressional hearing? [Easy... tell them not to engage in junk science or fraud.]

America has led the world in science for decades. It has benefited our culture, our economy and our understanding of the world. [No thanks to Michael Mann and his kind.]

My fellow scientists and I must be ready to stand up to blatant abuse from politicians who seek to mislead and distract the public. They are hurting American science. And their failure to accept the reality of climate change will hurt our children and grandchildren, too. [If Michael Mann wants to "stand up" to something, why doesn't he stand up for a debate against a skeptical climate scientist? I think we all know the answer to that one.]

Michael E. Mann, the author of “Dire Predictions: Understanding Global Warming,” is a professor in the meteorology department at Penn State University and director of the Penn State Earth System Science Center. [PSU's continued employment of Mann gives a whole new meaning to Nittany lion.]

We urge people to move to Virginia just so they can vote for Ken Cuccinelli in future elections.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Joke of the Week

Tip O' the Hat to Jason T. for passing these two funnies along.

A blond was sitting outside a store on the curb crying. The manager of the store spotted her outside and went outside and asked the blond whats wrong. she said her mother had just died. The manager said, "Oh I'm sorry." The blond's cell phone starts to ring and she answers it and says, "Hello..Oh My God! Are you serious!" She hangs up and the manager asks her who that was and the blond says, "That was my sister, her mom just died too!"

A blond walked into a gas station and said to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?"
"Why sure," said the manager, "I have a hanger you can use."
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blond was doing, he heard another voice from a blond inside the car. "No, no! A little to the left."

Friday, October 8, 2010

Patriot/Hero of the Week

This week's hero is not an American, but a freedom fighter and hero just the same.

On September 2, an eighty-nine year old woman, by the name of Eileen Nearne, was discovered to have died alone in her Torquay, England apartment. What makes this story significant is that when the authorities, in the absence of any known, living relatives, entered her apartment. They were searching for any form of documentation that might identify, and lead to, next-of-kin to take charge of the funeral arrangements. What they found revealed that this aged, penniless, recluse was not your average little old lady. Ms. Nearne was in fact agent "Rose" during World War II.

Agent "Rose", a member of the British Special Operations Executive, who at the age of twenty-three, parachuted into France to fight the Nazis in 1944. She worked undercover coordinating the efforts of the resistance and spies with the Allied war effort and operating a wireless radio for the Wizard network. Four months after entering France, her transmitter was detected and she was arrested, and tortured, by the Nazi secret police, the Gestapo. She was released due to the inability of the Gestapo to ascertain her true identity. Her French was too good to be a foreigner, owing to a childhood spent in France.

Ms. Nearne was arrested several weeks later and imprisoned at the Ravensbrueck Concentration Camp. She was later transferred to a forced labor camp in Silesia. She escaped from the camp, was re-arrested and escaped again to continue her work with the resistance.

After the war, Ms. Nearne was awarded Croix de Guerre by France, and appointed a Member of the Order of the British Empire, in recognition of her services. She lived most of her post war life with her sister in London, and moved to Torquay, on the English coast, after her sister's death in 1982.

Ms. Nearne is survived by a niece, Odile Nearne, who lived in Italy and was, despite appearances, close to her secret agent aunt and visited often, including a visit not six months prior. Ms. Nearne's mortal remains were not treated to the ignominy of a pauper's funeral, instead she was honored at a service provided by the British Legion on September 21, 2010 at Our Lady Help of Christians and St Denis Roman Catholic Church, Torquay. Twenty-one standard bearers, two pipers and her niece formed the honor guard around her flag draped coffin, and her remains scattered at sea according to her last wishes.

Eileen Mary "Didi" Nearne is a true hero to the entire free world, and I am proud to tell her story and glad that she did not pass from this veil unlauded and unknown. She faced down the the worst that Nazis could deliver, and never gave up, never backed down and ensured that justice would be served to a cruel, unjust and tyrannical regime. Rest well agent "Rose", you are gone but not forgotten by a grateful world.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Global Warming Wednesday

I rarely write this column myself. Often I sift the net until I find something that I think would interest you, my readers. A great side effect of this methodology is that I get to plug my fellow bloggers and I get to publish a piece without having to work too hard as I constantly crawl the net for news anyway. Unfortunately I can not for the life of me remember where I ran across this video. I have looked around but still can not place where I first saw it, but I digress.

This video clearly shows how much regard the greenie-wienies have for human life in relation to the importance they place on the environment. This video, titled "No Pressure," is from a "help the environment," global warming mitigation campaign called 10:10. This movie is as appalling as it is eye-opening.

WARNING! - This video depicts graphic violence committed against children, young business persons, amateur athletes, voice-recording artists and other people who are t0o smart to buy into the lies propagated by Dr. Mann, Al Gore and their legion of green idiots who will believe anything as long as they are told it will save the planet, even when it conflicts with that other stuff that will save the planet.

On a side note, if those green-idiots try to force me to toe their line or die, I will unleash a whole can o' Whup-Ass on them. On the plus side the contents of that can will help the Earth by seriously reducing the population pressure and fertilizing the soil, but then again, No Pressure!

Monday, October 4, 2010

More on the Departure of the 3-116 CAB (CAV)

Here are some picture from the Mobilization Ceremony from the 3-116 CAB (CAV) that I first spoke of in this American Patriot/Hero of the Week post. For those who do not know, I was honored to be invited to attend this ceremony, and I am glad to finally be able to share some photos from the event.

Joke of the Week

Tip O' the Hat to Michele R. for this week's joke.

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blond came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten knob. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten knob?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "Is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."

If you're not sure what a 710 is click here.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Celebrating Cowboys and Indians: the "Pendleton Round-Up" Rodeo ... My Perspective ...

Tip O' the Hat to Summer Patriot, Winter Soldier for this piece. I enjoy rodeos, must be something about growing up in Texas, and I live in Eastern Oregon quite close to where the Pendleton Round-Up is held, and as such I attend every year with my family and in-laws. This year was the centennial celebration, and while the rodeo itself was as great as ever, the other events that the city puts on were less than stellar due to the City of Pendleton and The Main Street Cowboys trying to squeeze the vendors for more money due to it being the hundred year celebration, thus ensuring that the centennial celebration was not as good as, well just about any other year. Other than that it was very fun, and my daughter ran us ragged running from ride to ride at the carnival. So before I get to SP/WS's post I am going to shamelessly plug for the Round-Up. I you find yourself in Pendleton during the second full week of September, say because your car broke down and you are now stranded, then I recommend you come see the show. Do not count on getting a hotel room though, besides the rates shooting up somewhere around three to four times as much as usual, every hotel room for fifty miles in any direction is booked solid as attendees start making their reservations six months before the event. On a side note I am using SP/WS's post because it is so well written, why mess with perfection.

So without further ado:

A cowboy (that’s “bull rider” to you slickers) interfaces with an 1800 pound bull with his butt clad in denim and his left hand wrapped in the very tight loop of a rope wrapped around the chest and shoulders of the bull, sitting on cow hide. An Indian (brave) relay race rider interfaces with 900 pounds of horse with his butt clad in not very much at all, and his two legs around the horse, heels buried in the horse’s front “arm pits,” sitting on horse hair: he rides “bare back,” with no saddle, no cinch and just a halter for “steering.” The bull rider mounts the bull is a very ginger process, in which he descends into a chute in which the bull waits, sits astride the bull and wraps his hand in the loop, and nods to the gate worker that he is ready for all hell to break loose, and the gate is opened: what happens next is 8 seconds in which the rider flirts with injury and death, and struggles to stay on the back of a very antagonistic foe. The Indian riders enter the arena and come onto a track from a gate under the stadium, ride toward the start line opposite the direction of the race, cross the line and attempt to turn their excited mounts in the right direction, and somewhere in the milling around a rodeo official mounted on a horse pulls a six gun from a holster and fires a shot in the air, and it seems to matter little if the horses are pointed in the right direction or if “milling around” best describes their posture.

The culture of the western cowboy, be he vaquero or buckaroo (which is obviously the same word when you say them aloud, but the cowboy cultures are different, from dress, to rigging, to hats, to rope preferences, to methods of conducting the cattle business), is still very much alive in the west and north west, and the culture of the American Indian is still very much alive. The rodeo and the roundup in particular, reflect the vitality of the two cultures, and also strive to preserve them. The rodeo celebrates the craft of the cowboy, and the events are the tasks a cowboy performs on the open range, which is everywhere a cow is, that is not a feed lot: cowboys still rope calves for various reasons, including branding, and they still wrestle steers but use a little known practice of taking the bull/steer down with a single rider roping the steer over the horns, getting the rope on the far side of his neck, and then flipping him all from the back of a horse: it’s impressive, when you see it done right. They do not generally ride bulls during routine work, unless succumbing to a suicidal urge. The Indian culture lives in the old practices of food gathering, work with leather and beads, and in the Indian dance and ritual culture, as well as efforts to preserve the use and integrity of language, though I am not too sure just how successful this is, nor am I convinced that very many successful speakers of the native tongues exist.

Both are cultures of great independence, physical vitality and vigor, great risk taking, stoic suffering, lustful exuberance and the preservation of manly and womanly virtues as understood running centuries back. These cultures, and rodeo involving these cultures especially, are enterprising, but not the cultures of “doing” business or the staid existence of the middle class, but a rollicking and raucous celebration of life, and accepting the darker side of things associated with such risk taking behaviors, perhaps the closest thing we have in our world to the Spanish bull fight. The cowboys and the Indians who participate in the matters described herein are pretty close to the knight errant, doing things for the love of the things done, much as don Quixote loved the pursuit of the safety and chastity of the fair Dulcinea, though cowboys at the rodeo and braves at the pow wow do not openly pursue chastity as a virtue.

It is the world of men, based on muscle and guile and the embrace of risk to bring terror to the ordinary burgher, and it is the world of companion womanhood as alluring as only a high slung rump and long legs stuffed into denim jeans w/ a white linen blouse tucked into those britches over a flat belly and breasts spilling from a low buttoned bodice can be. There is nothing like a cowboy in his duster bedecked in a cowboy hat and high heeled boots w/ pointed toes, with a cowgirl tucked under his armed, suitably accoutered with butt cheeks struggling to get loose from those jeans, and the pride and perkiness of youthful breasts tucked under his arm, in a matching pair of tooled leather uppers and high heels to turn the head in frank admiration.

It is sexy, it is elemental, and it is exuberant and raw. And, did I mention sexy?
And, this celebration of the cowboy and the Indian life in the "Pendleton roundup," a premier event in North America, has involved both cowboys and Indians for the last 100 years. When the promoters of the roundup first staged the event in 1910, the members of the Umatilla tribe and their confederated tribes, the Yakima, the warm springs, the Walla Walla and the Cayuse were invited to the rodeo as participants, to put forth their skills and attributes. The Umatilla’s considered the matter, decided to accept the invitation and attend the rodeo, to show the larger white community that even though they had suffered defeats and degradation, and even though they had ceded vast lands in “exchange” for confinement on the reservation, that they had survived and still existed with their mores and customs intact. And so they came, and set up an encampment of teepees on the rodeo grounds, and lived there for the duration of the rodeo, according to their customs, one of which involved the “whip man” who enforced discipline on children who did not obey their rules, just as the name implies. And the Umatilla nation and their confederated tribes have been there every year since the first rodeo.

Computer Problems

Greetings all. I have to apologize for my lack of posts, especially since I promised more rather than less. The motherboard on my computer died when the power jack, I use a laptop, detached and can not be soldered on without specialized equipment which I do not have. I have since replaced the motherboard but have found that since I had to contort the power cord so much to use the blasted computer at all, that I have now damaged the cord. I have a new cord on order and it should be arriving soon. Until it arrives, early next week supposedly, we will all have to deal with sporadic and intermittent posts here at RWE. Keep the faith.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

American Patriot/Hero of the Week

This Tuesday past, I was honored to receive an invitation from my friend, and coworker, to attend the Mobilization Ceremony of the Oregon National Guards 3-116 CAB (CAV). Despite my knee injury, I drug my sorry rear the fifty-some-odd miles down the road to see my friend off as he leaves to defend our great nation and bring freedom to the Iraqis. There are many in this local battalion of heroes, some I have met, and one other I work with (Jeff). I told myself that they would have to screw me into a coffin before I missed the ceremony, and a little pain was worth it. This week I honor all the brave men and women of 3-116 CAB (CAV), but I single out my good friend Tyson Cross, who did me this great honor, as a model of the average American Soldier who has gone off to war. Tyson is a young man who works hard, well as hard as any of us do. He is helpful, truthful, a good friend and a good uncle to his sister's children. He understands the sacrifice that must be made if freedom is to florish in this festering, benighted world. Whether he has the words of not, he knows bone deep, "The noblest fate that a man can endure is to place his own mortal body between his loved home and the war's desolation." I ask you all to say a prayer for the safe return of every member of the 3-116 CAB (CAV). Below are some pictures that Tyson's wife, Jennifer, has sent me to include in this post.

I know he reads my blog, and so I offer him this personal message, do your duty to the best of your ability, be safe, take care of your buddies, your equipment and your feet and they will take care of you. When you get back the first beer is on me.