Joke of the Week 3.0

Tip o' the hat to Doug H. for this weeks bonus joke.

Liberals vs Conservatives

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed. If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A liberal will demand I delete it because he's "offended".

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week 2.0

I saw this on Z's blog and I could not help myself:

ZOO STORY

A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington , DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life." The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'

The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page . . . . . . . So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?' The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.' The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:

U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT THEN STEALS HIS LUNCH

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

Tip o' the hat to my mom for this week's joke. Even thought she is kind of falling away from true conservative principles, she is still one of us, and has a great sense of humor.

Joe the plumber and his interpretation of Democratic “spreading the wealth:”
The Chosen One discovers a leak under his sink, so he calls Joe the Plumber to come and fix it.

Joe drives to The Chosen One’s house, which is located in a very nice neighborhood and where its clear that all the residents make more than $250,000 per year.

Joe arrives and takes his tools into the house. Joe is led to the room that contains the leaky pipe under a sink. Joe assesses the problem and tells The Chosen One , who is standing near the door, that its an easy repair that will
take less than 10 minutes.

The Chosen One asks Joe how much it will cost. Joe immediately says, “$9,500.”

“$9,500?” The Chosen One asks, stunned. “But you said it”s an easy repair!”
=2 0
“Yes, but what I do is charge a lot more to my clients who make more than $250,000 per year so I can fix the plumbing of everybody who makes less than that for free,” explains Joe. “Its always been my philosophy. As a matter of fact, I lobbied government to pass this philosophy as law, and it did pass earlier this year, so now all plumbers have to do business this way. It’s known as “Joe’s Fair Plumbing Act of 2008.” Surprised you haven’t heard of it, senator.”

20
In spite of that, The Chosen One tells Joe there’s no way he’s paying that much for a small plumbing repair, so Joe leaves.

The Chosen One spends the next hour flipping through the phone book looking for another plumber, but he finds that all other plumbing businesses listed have gone out of business. Not wanting to pay Joe’s price, The Chosen One does nothing.

The leak under The Chosen One’s sink goes un-repaired for the next several days.

A week later, the leak is so bad that The Chosen One has had to put a bucket under the sink. The bucket fills up quickly and has to be emptied every hour, and there’s a risk that the room will flood, so The Chosen One calls Joe and pleads with him to return.

Joe goes back to The Chosen One’s house, looks at the leaky pipe, and says “Let’s see this will cost you about $21,000.”

“A few days ago you told me it would cost $9,500!” The Chosen One quickly fires back.

Joe explains the reason for the dramatic increase. “Well, because of the “Joe’s Fair Plumbing Act,” a lot of rich people are learning how to fix their own plumbing, so there are fewer of you paying for all the free plumbing I’m doing for the people who make less than $250,000. As a result, the rate I have to charge my wealthy paying customers rises every day.

“Not only that, but for some reason the demand for plumbing work from the group of people who get it for free has skyrocketed, and there’s a long waiting list of those who need repairs. This has put a lot of my fellow plumbers out of business, and nobody is going into the plumbing business because they know they won’t make any money. I’m hurting now too all thanks to greedy rich people like you who won’t pay their fair share.”

The Chosen One tries to straighten out the plumber: “Of course you’re hurting, Joe! Don’t you get it? If all the rich people learn how to fix their own plumbing and you refuse to charge the poorer people for your services, you’ll be broke, and then what will you do?”

Joe immediately replies, “Run for president, apparently.”

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Thoughts on CommieCare

Piglosi, Dingy Harry and The Chosen One have really started to turn up the heat on CommieCare this week. I have to admit that I am damned tired of the whole CommieCare fight, but this fight is to important to give in to battle fatigue now. This den of thieves is trying to pull a fast one on all of us. They say that they are doing this for the betterment of the nation. THEY LIE! It is about suborning honest Americans and bringing them, and a large portion of the nation economy, under government control. The want to force us face first into the government trough. The leftists have learned that the more people who depend on the government for an essential service, the more leverage they will have as the party that is always willing to dole out the hand-outs. It all comes down to control. Like the tax code, they will use this as another political tool to play politics with.

I don't expect much from the leftist Kool-Aid drinking proles, of course these drones want the government to do for them, and keep those in power that promise them a bigger hand-out. Look at Social Security, welfare, Medicare and Medicaid. The recipients of government charity always vote for the group that promises a bigger slice of the pie. Robert Heinlein said it best, "What is supposed to happen in a democracy is that each sovereign citizen will always vote in the public interest for the safety and welfare of all. But what does happen is that he votes his own self-interest as he sees it… which for the majority translates as "Bread and Circuses." "Bread and Circuses" is the cancer of democracy, the fatal disease for which there is no cure. Democracy often works beautifully at first. But once a state extends the franchise to every warm body, be he producer or parasite, that day marks the beginning of the end of the state. For when the plebs discover that they can vote themselves bread and circuses without limit and that the productive members of the body politic cannot stop them, they will do so, until the state bleeds to death, or in its weakened condition the state succumbs to an invader—the barbarians enter Rome.

Brothers and sisters, it is worse than even Heinlein predicted. The barbarians are not beating on the gates. No, they have already infiltrated the shining city on the hill, and are bringing us down from the inside. They are suborning our culture and destroying our way of life. They hate America, and feel that the prosperity we have earned is somehow stolen, or was taken at the expense of others, and that it just is not fair. The enemies of freedom have penetrated our system all the way to the top. The have used the processes of this great republic to gather up the reins of power. Having achieved that goal they are now bent on dismantling our system. The first step was to get as many on the dole as possible, thus making the dependent. Next they infiltrated the main stream media and turned them to their will. Then the started to take apart our financial institutions and private industries, such as the auto companies, and placing them under government control. Now they are attempting to tax the air we breath and force us into government run health care.

As I have said before, do you really want the idiots who let Wall Street fall, White Water and any number of other shenanigans happen in charge of your health? The idea frightens me. Look at Canada and how well their system has served them. Look to England's National Health System. I do not want English Teeth, do you? They say that he bill will not have death panels, by whatever name, or allow illegals to continue to soak up our hard earned tax dollars. I say again, THEY LIE! The violate our Constitution and smile while they say it is for our own good.

We will not have to worry about the barbarians battering down the gates, our so called leaders are inviting them in. We must continue to fight, to keep the pressure on these bastards. Write your congress members. Brothers and sisters, pass this message on. Send it in e-mails, post links and send it to your friends. Re-post this on your blogs, and forward it to the talk show hosts, you have my permission. The wider distribution on this message, the better for a free America. We beat back amnesty by stirring the masses to respond to congress and their disregard for our laws in one voice, "NO!" We won that fight, and we can win this fight too. Below is a picture of people waiting for the swine flu shots, another failed government health care program. If you want to see the future of CommieCare, there it is brothers and sisters.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Week of Death

It has been a bad week. First I found out that a student and friend died of pneumonia secondary to swine flu. Then there was the Ft. Hood shooting in my home state. Today it was the Florida shooting, and to top it off, my sister's heart's son took his own life. For all of these, I fly the RWE flag at half mast. May the good lord take you all in his arms.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

FT. Hood Terriorist Shooter Makes it out Alive.....For Now

***UPDATED***

Unless you spent the day under a rock, you heard about the shooting spree at Fort Hood. Pictured above is Major Nidal Malik Hasan, a U.S. Army head shrinker. This piece of garbage entered a soldier readiness center being used for a college graduation ceremony, and opened up with two handguns, killing thirteen and wounding more than thirty others. Some are saying that this is not a terrorist act, but instead a law enforcement issue. To them I say, there is a cure for cranial rectal insertion, I suggest you try drinking one cup of chlorine bleach every hour until symptoms desist.

The Feds have been watching this guy for six months because of Internet posting discussing suicide bombs and other threats. Of course a senior administration official told NBC News, "[T]he shootings could have been a criminal matter rather than a terrorism-related attack and that there was no intelligence to suggest a plot against Fort Hood." Well it COULD have been a nice, harmless, Muslim gentleman who just happened to bring a rifle into a building crawling with infidels and it just went off on its own right after he screamed "Allahu Akbar". For those of you who don't know, Allahu Akbar means God is great, and is shouted by terrorists before they commit their murder of the infidel. Of course The Chosen One's lackeys deny a terrorist link despite the evidence. Those douche-bags do not believe in terrorists. They think that terrorists are figments of the imagination dreamed up by conservatives to keep the proles in line. To them this guy was no more a terrorist than Sergeant Asan Akbar who blew up his fellow soldiers with hand grenades while they slept because they were mean to him. In a diary entry Akbar said, "I may not have killed any Muslims, but being in the Army is the same thing. I may have to make a choice very soon on who to kill." No, obviously he was not a terrorist either. In an overwhelming outpouring of support, The Chosen One called the incident, "horrific". Another pithy comment Mr. President, did your speech writers work all day on that one, or did Biden write it for you?

Of course Muslim groups are silent except to worry about backlash. Do you know why you have to worry about backlash? It is because you never do anything to solve the problem. You are never part of the solution. All you do is preach hate and other vileness on the one hand, and either make excuses why it is the infidel's fault or appeal for calm on the other hand. You are part of the problem, and you like it that way, otherwise you would do something rather than wring your hands mouthing platitudes. In fact the NY Times is already attempting to make Maj. Hasan the victim. Read the article, of course he was the victim. He would never have shot all those innocent people if the had not been so mean to him and tried to deploy him to the middle east to kill his terrorist brothers. This shows, once again, that the leftist hate the military, and could not care less if they are gunned down like dogs.

I have to say, that the real pity is that the original reports of this waste of space's death were greatly exaggerated. Now we have to go through the trouble and expense of giving this terrorist asshole a trial. Of course, I urge you all to look at the bright side, the military has the death penalty, and until they give him the juice he will be locked in a military prison mostly filled with trained killers, that despite being criminals, are also patriotic. One way or the other, adios skid-mark.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Posts will be Delayed for a Time

My posts are going to be delayed for a short time. Recently, a friend and sometime employee passed from pneumonia caused by the swine flu, and I am just not feeling it right now. Keep the faith and keep the pressure on.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!