Sunday, August 30, 2009

Stupid Criminals

I thought I would take a break from politics today. In that vein, I offer you stupid criminals. These guys are the type we need to forcibly evict from the gene pool. Hope you enjoy.

Man gives license and runs. A local man is involved in a car accident. When the police arrive, the man gives his drivers license to the officer, and then literally turns and runs away. The officer doesn't give chase, but does check him through the computer. He has no warrants and is a valid driver. His car is also registered to him and everything is proper. The officer simply tows the man's car, drives over to his house and issues him a ticket.

The hitch-hiker Nashville, TN - A man hitch-hiking offers an off duty officer a bag of crack cocaine for a ride, and gets arrested.

A call to police by a Montgomery County motel manager over a guest's refusal to pay his bill has netted them a fully operational drug lab inside the guest's room.

Two boys in stolen car pull up to sobriety checkpoint. In Berks County (Pa.), police arrested a 16-year-old driver and his 19-year-old passenger in July in Exeter Township when the driver coolly pulled up to a sobriety checkpoint and told officers they were on the way to a party, even though both were obviously intoxicated; the car was littered with empty and open beer cans; and the boys looked much younger than 21 (the drinking age). And two other things: The car had been reported stolen, and in the back seat was a leather satchel containing various license plates, car titles and other motor-vehicle papers.

Man Jailed Minutes After Release. After serving eight months in Placer County jail for auto theft and drunken driving, Jessie * never got out of the facility's parking lot. Less than 15 minutes after being given his freedom, the 28 year old Loomis resident was back in jail for allegedly plotting a bank robbery with an undercover officer who met him in the parking lot.
Authorities had learned that Alexander planned to rob a bank within a week of being let out of jail. Four agencies arranged for an undercover officer to meet with Alexander in the parking lot. Alexander then solicited the undercover officer man's help for a bank robbery. He was arrested at 6:10 a.m. - just 14 minutes after he'd walked out of jail. Alexander is charged with soliciting another person to commit a felony and is being held on 30,000.00 bail.

STEVENS POINT, Wis. -- A woman didn't have to look far to figure out who likely broke into her home and took a camera from her purse. Police said the burglar left behind his probation and parole card.

Bank Robber returns to bank to open account. 11/25/01: A man without principle attracted a lot of interest after he returned to a Queens bank he had robbed to open up a savings account there, police said. "What a dope!" said one amazed police official, who could barely contain his laughter. "This guy has to get the jackass of the year award. I guess that's why they call them 'criminals' - they're just sometimes really stupid." Police say Jack Schreiner, 30, strolled into a Chase Manhattan Bank branch at 84-01 Jamaica Ave. at 10:30 last Monday and handed a teller a note demanding money. The teller complied and surrendered $7,791 in cash. On Friday, Schreiner returned to the bank at 11:24 a.m. - this time to open up a savings account. After the manager and teller verified the man was the original bank robber, the police were called and were able to catch their man.

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!" The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and then drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.


Teresa said...

That is quite a montage of criminal idiocy. That had me LOL. Thanks for the humor.

Right Wing Extreme said...

Hey no problem. It can't be politics all the time. In these dark days a little humor is what everyone needs. Thanks for reading.