Joke of the Week

I know I have already posted a joke very similar to this one before, but I figured that with the economy in the toilet, reusing our natural resources, such as humor, will keep costs down. Just because it has been reused, the serial numbers have been filed off and it has been dressed up with some new lines is no reason not to laugh at a very funny joke.

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 'ouncer'.

Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Assholes!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

No Women or Children Available To Hide Behind So Hamas Had To Release A Grainy Video Of The Killing Of Two Israeli Soldiers

This Tip O' the Hat to the The Jawa Report for this post. I especially like the hot Israeli chick in the video, who's oh so perfect rear is accessorized with an M-16. Yummy!

RIP Maj Eliraz Peretz and Staff Sgt. Ilan Sviatkovsky.

Via Haaretz

In the events on Friday, Maj. Eliraz Peretz and Staff Sgt. Ilan Sviatkovsky were killed in the Gaza Strip while pursuing a group of Palestinian militants trying to lay mines near the border fence. Two other soldiers were injured in the incident, and two militants were killed.[...]

The military wing of Hamas, the Iz al-Din al-Qassam Brigade, announced on Friday that it was responsible for the killing of the two IDF soldiers and injuring two others.

In a Hamas news conference, the spokesperson for the military wing of Hamas, Abu Obeida, said that a Hamas sniper succeeded in striking two Israeli soldiers. Abu Obeida said that "the act is dedicated to the Palestinian nation, to the jailed prisoners and in honor of shahid Mahmoud al-Mabhouh."

Flag Hamas video please, IDF will thank you.

While you are at it, flag Hamas Facebook page

h/t The Sanity Inspector

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Notable Quotes

Tip O' the Hat to JMK at Workingclass Conservative who posted this quote as a comment to last week's American Patriot/Hero of the Week post. I could not agree more with the approach advocated by Michael Scheuer, a former CIA operative and now an author of several books on America's war on terror.

"The problem with our approach is that we're simply not killing enough of our enemies."

-Michael Scheuer

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week 2.0

I have been having a lot of problems both at home and at work. Things just have not been going my way. So last night I was depressed, so I called Lifeline. I got a freakin' call center in Pakistan. "Oh well," I thought. So I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Assholes..................

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Hero of the Week

You might have noticed that the title of this week's American Patriot/Hero of the week post is missing something. This is not an oversight on my part, I purposely removed the "American" and "Patriot" parts because this week's honoree is not an American, and while he me be a patriot, typically these posts are only for patriotism of the American variety. This weeks honoree is so great is my esteem however, that I could not let the chance to honor him pass me by.

I recently took a vacation from work, and blogging, to spend time at home with my family, and especially my children. While on vacation, I lived under a rock. No news, no blogs that I had not written in preparation for the break, and I only checked my email once. Mostly I played Assassin's Creed II, my new favorite video game that my oldest daughter bought me for Christmas. As such I only learned of the Panty Bomber this Monday. There will be more on that later this week, now back to my Hero post.

This week's honoree is Jasper Schuringa of Amsterdam. After that idiot Umar Farouk Abdullmatallab, boy that is a mouthful, burned off Captain Winkie in a failed attempt to blow up the plane, Mr. Schuringa body tackled this TERRORIST, and took his bomb away, suffering burns to his hands in the process. This man showed great courage in the face of possible loss of life and limb, and could very well have saved the lives of every soul on the plane. My only regret is that Mr. Shuringa, nor any other passengers, worked this douche bag over.

It is my sincere hope that either The Chosen One will bestow the Presidential Medal of Freedom, or our Congress will award the Congressional Gold Medal for his brave acts. I doubt this will be the case as I am sure in my heart that the libs are disappointed that some American Citizens did not get waxed by a Terrorist Attack thereby giving them a crises to exploit. God knows Rahm Emanuel is crying himself to sleep.

Until and unless our Dear Leader and his tame Congress get their thumbs out and do what is right, my kudos will have to suffice. I do however recommend to all of my readers that you call your Senators and Congressmen to pressure them to honor this brave man.

Which award do you think he should receive?

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Patton Lives

The other day I was listening to the G. Gordon Liddy show, and I heard an awesome speech by a comedian named Mike Kaminski. Kaminski does voices, both imitations and originals, and in this speech he played this week's American Patriot/Hero, General George S. Patton. "Patton" put forth some interesting thoughts on the current state of affairs in this nation and with our current wars. I could easily believe that the real Patton would have given a speech exactly like this, were he alive today. Men, such as Patton, made this country the "Shining City on the Hill," and I wish we had more like him, as we are sorely in need of more great men. While poking around the interwebs, I found this same speech, but set to video. I offer for your viewing enjoyment, this awesome speech. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Sacrificed on the Altar of Political Correctness

You are all going to have to pardon me, as I am not sure I will be able to keep this from descending into a shrill, incoherent morass, but I promise to put forth my best effort. On November twelfth this nation sacrificed forty-four people to the great bitch-goddess of Political Correctness. I find this to be intolerable. In what universe is this acceptable? This terrorist skid-mark in the undershorts of America made his intentions known by every method short of taking out newspaper ads or billboards, and the powers that be did nothing. Sure The Chosen One mouthed pleasantries and platitudes at the memorial service, but not once did he call this massacre what it was, TERRORISM. He urged us,"to not jump to conclusions." I am a simple southern boy, and maybe I missed the memo, but when a Jihadist screams "Allahu Akbar" and opens fire on a crowd of American soldiers, I am going to think that is an act of terrorism.

Just because Hasan was not a member of Al Quida, Hamas or Hezbollah does not make Major Hasan less of a terrorist. There was no tip-toeing through the tulips when Timothy McVeigh blew up the Murrah Federal Building. Not one politician or newsie pulled a punch when describing the Unabomber. So why do they flinch now? Because it might offend the Muslim community. Well damn the "Muslim Community" anyway. It offends me that they do not stand up to the extremists in their midst. The stand silently by and do nothing while murderers blow up building and butcher innocents because their religious leaders, THEIR LEADERS, tell them slaughter is pleasing to God. The "Muslim Community" is part of the problem rather than part of the solution.

Recently I read that the Chief of Naval Operations, Admiral Gary Roughead announced in Annapolis that "diversity is the number one priority" at the Naval Academy. Odd, I thought the number one priority of The Naval Academy should be training the future leaders of the Navy and the Marine Corps to be excellent military leaders. I was unaware that our tax dollars were going to touchy feely diversity training. The job of our military is to break the enemy's toys and to kill him, not to make recruits feel good about how "tolerant" today's military is. I am in shock at this trend, and find it deeply disturbing.

This ranks right up there with giving out a trophy to every child because they participated and not keeping score so they will feel good about themselves. Would you like to know what made me feel good about myself when I was a child? Winning the damn game. If my team lost the coach did not tell us oh well, at least you tried. NO! he worked us harder in practice until we won the damn games. As Admiral Jones Ingram said, "We've got no place in this outfit for good losers. We want tough hombres who will go in there and win!"

I have seen very little on the part political correctness played in these murders. though there is some. If the powers that be had not been afraid to to offend a few people, maybe step on some toes, then this disaster would never have happened. How did this happening to my country? How have we fallen so low? When did it become more important to make sure a terrorist feels good about the consequences of his actions than to protect American Citizens? If this is where the road headed down, do we even deserve to survive?

Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory.
- General George Patton Jr

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Another One Bites the Dust

Today the FBI made Detroit, the nation and the world a better place. The FBI raided a warehouse in Detroit where a group of Muslim Criminals, no one wants to say terrorist because The Chosen One has deemed that term no longer PC, were hiding out. Luqman Ameen Abdullah, a.k.a. Christopher Thomas, an imam (terrorist prayer leader) for the Masjid Al-Haqq mosque in Detroit, was being sought on charges that included conspiracy to sell stolen goods and illegal possession and sale of firearms. Abdullah has advocated violence against America and her people, murder of police and the founding of a Sharia Law based state carved from the United States and led by some crazy-ass Muslim Black Panther murderer. This idiot (Abdullah) was cured of his acute lead-deficiency in a shoot-out with federal agents when they attempted to arrest him. Of course the Muslim community says he was a good man and they can not imagine that he is a criminal, of course he was on their board, so they are believable. Al Jazeera says he was targeted, and murdered, because of his religion, not that anyone cares, or believes these jokers. I hope you find hell to your liking you sorry bastard, and on the off chance you make it to heaven, we have a surprise for you. These are the virgins your actions have earned, enjoy douchebag.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

Another Tip o' the Hat to Doug H.

Pay strict attention to this new government program..

THE PATRIOT MICRO CHIP is intended to be implanted in terrorists. The implant is specifically designed to be installed in the forehead. When properly installed, it will allow the one implanted, to speak to God.

It comes in various sizes:

The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well-trained and highly skilled technician. The implant may or may not be painless. Side effects, like headaches and nausea, are temporary. Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site.

Please enjoy the security we provide for you.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Demand a Purple Heart for Private Andrew William Long

This patriot is another victim in a battle of the War on Terror......er Overseas Contingency Operations. Tell me you do not agree that this brave soldier's family does not deserve to receive the medal this soldier's blood bought.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

9/11 Remembrance

Here we are at the seventh anniversary of 9/11 and still we haven't dealt decisively with these terrorist assholes. Osama is still out there and it seems like all America cares about making sure the big scary guard dogs don't bark at the guests in Club Gitmo.
I spent today at the rodeo listening to the REAL people of this country remember this tragedy. They flew the flag at half mast and said a prayer right out in the open. Like many of you, I spent 9/11 glued to my TV watching as thousands of innocents suffered a fiery death. Unlike most, however, my anger unlike many in this country hasn't gone away or cooled in the slightest. I feel physically ill whenever someone says that if we could only understand these people and their grievances, we could have peace.
Peace sounds good to me too, but like anyone with half a brain, liberals need not apply, I know that there are many roads to peace. The only thing the Kool-Aid drinkers have right is the need to understand our enemies. We must understand our enemies so that when we communicate with them they realize we mean business. After all if we attempt to communicate above the level these people, and I use the term loosely, and they are unable to understand, then there will never be any understanding. The only form of communication these animals understand is blood and pain and suffering.
On this note we should all demand of our so-called leaders, that real and open communication be commenced immediately. We should rain down all the blood, pain and suffering these beasts can handle. We have the technology; we can rebuild the peace faster, stronger, better. Anybody who thinks that a Tomahawk cruise missile can not be equal to a diplomatic communique? If you said yes, I invite you to visit this site and think again.
I don't give a damn if a few terrorists had to make a pyramid while nude. Water boarding, we do it to our own troops to teach resistance to questioning, and you do not hear the libs crying about them. I don't really want these people drug before a judge and jury. Let's not waste the money and time that a trial takes. Let's bring the rain, they will understand that.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!