Notable Quotes

"Then [The Chosen One] signed a letter congratulating Sen. Ted Kennedy on yesterday achieving 40 days of sobriety[.]"

This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Tip o' the Hat to TOTUS at Barack Obama's Teleprompter's Blog. I am surprised that my computer did not crash for uttering The Unspeakable One's name.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

I am a little behind because I lost track of what day of the week it was because of the long weekend. So without further adieu, here is this weeks joke of the week.

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans, West Virginians or other Southerners will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." They must now be refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore ...

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTRO VERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12 She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER." Love this one.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND
BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION"
8 He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11 It"s not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It"s "REAR CLEAVAGE"

Please use your best judgment when referring to these people, so as to make it more comfortable for the rest of us.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week 2.0

An Oldie but a goodie.

Dear Citizens,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, I, President Barack Obama have decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as I, President Barack Obama, deem appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by me, President Barack Obama.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. I, President Barack Obama, have always prided myself on the amount of SHIT I give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

President Barack Obama

PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day...

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it... I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries... "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That’s the State of Texas , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from the State of Texas are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance..."

God smiled, "There’s Washington DC . ... Wait till you see the idiots I put there."

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week 2.0

The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Obama. The stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission
presented the following findings:

The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. People are spitting on the wrong side.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

For those of you who slept through World History 101 here is a condensed version. Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and.......
2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer, and the beer to the man.

These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

Why Beer Is Better Than Obama

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." --Benjamin Franklin


Beer is better than Obama because soldiers like beer.
Beer is better than Obama because sailors like beer.
Beer is better than Obama because marines like beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't come from Madrassas.
Beer is better than Obama because you know what's in beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer won't take half your paycheck.
Beer is better than Obama because beer makes life a little better.
Beer is better than Obama because you're sad if there's no more beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't lie.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't have entitlement demands.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and whine don't mix.
Beer is better than Obama because beer has a pretty good head on it.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and bowling go together.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and arugula don't.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t mind if you cling to your beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t trash talk you behind your back.
Beer is better than Obama because cold beer disproves the myth of man made global warming.
Beer is better than Obama because imported beer doesn’t pretend to be domestic.
Beer is better than Obama because beer likes it when I set my thermostat COLD.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is GREEN only on St. Patrick’s Day.
Beer is better than Obama because beer didn’t smoke pot and snort coke.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is better than Vichy Water.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is unpretentious.
Beer is better than Obama because people in small towns cling to God, guns and beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't promise you a free lunch.
Beer is better than Obama because there ain't no Pabst Bilal* Ribbon. Not yet anyway.
*"Bilal - Satisfies thirst; name of the Prophets Muezzin (one who calls for prayer)"
Beer is better than Obama because beer won’t throw you under the bus.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't cut and run.
Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't phony.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't flip-flop.
Beer is better than Obama because beer’s ingredients known for sure.
Beer is better than Obama because beer makes people happy.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is as American as apple pie.
Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't promoted on National Public Radio.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't mind if you own an SUV.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't care how much you make.
Beer is better than Obama because a beer won't blame America for 9/11.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.
Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't a lawyer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer comes with an expiration date.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and NASCAR go together.
Beer is better than Obama because you're not afraid to turn your back on a beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beers don't have friends who bombed the pentagon.
Beer is better than Obama because an empty beer is better than an empty suit.
Beer is better than Obama because beer minds its own business.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't tell you what you want to hear.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is worth what you pay for it.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't lecture you about "global warming."
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't care what color you are.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't want to take away your gun.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is popular with working people.
Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't crazy.
Beer is better than Obama because beers don't start out as empties.
Beer is better than Obama because beers don't rig elections.
Beer is better than Obama because beers don't raise taxes.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and coke don't mix.
Beer wants to make you sociable; Obama wants to make you socialist.
Beer is better than Obama because no matter how often you pee, you can't rid yourself of Obama.
A beer hangover means you had a good time; an Obama hangover means the good times are gone.
Beer will make the ball game more fun; Obama will tax your balls off.
Too much beer means some of us will occasionally have to say "I'm sorry." Too much Obama means we're all gonna be very, very sorry for a long, long time.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

This was sent to me by a friend at work. These probably aren't true, but should be. It is not quite a joke, but I laughed my ass off. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US...

A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples:

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. On an airplane!

2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. While I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, she interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts " Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa '' Her response - click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?'' I said, ''No.'' She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?' She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!'' After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii ..... After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California , and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?'' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?'' I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.'' I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa... When I told him this he said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.'' I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?'' ''Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?'' The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in! Could anyone be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED!

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Random Musings on the News

Sorry for not posting much of substance lately. I have been dealing with stress induced migraines, and not feeling well. My wife thinks that it is from getting worked up over The Chosen One's latest outrages, and that I need to send him the doctor's bill to him. Who knows, she might be right as to the cause, it could not possibly be from her. j/k

So here are some random musings on news articles that have been gathering dust in my files.

Jury backs hospital that deported patient: Good for them, both the jury and the hospital. One less illegal alien sucking up social services.

Steele: I'll Woo Blacks To GOP with "Fried Chicken and Potato Salad": D'oh. If they hadn't said Steele and GOP, I would have been thinking Biden.

Man calls 911 to save him from police: Retard.

Texting Teen Falls Down Manhole: See above comment. Her mother plans to sue for the gross factor. Teach your kid to look where she is going. The DEP workers ought to sue her for endangering them. I mean 130 pounds of idiot landing on your head has gotta hurt.

Humans Glow in Visible Light: How cool is that?

Coldest Object in Space Is Very Unnatural: On a related note, the coldest object on Earth is reported to be Hilary's no-no parts.

Cats Do Control Humans, Study Finds: Duh!

Dead shark abandoned on Miami street: This certainly adds a new terror to being a pedestrian.

Bill O'Reilly Says Jackson Is No Black Icon: Michael Jackson is black?

Miranda Rights for Terrorists: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will justify your pistol-whipping. You have the right to an undertaker....er attorney.

Suspect in soldier shooting says he was justified: So is your immediate execution.

Will Obama Raise Taxes on Middle Class?: As surely as night follows day.

House health plan to boost taxes on rich: Are there any rich people left. I thought the libs wanted to protect the endangered species.

Obama on burden of fixing economy: 'Give it to me': Because he has done so well up until now.

'Cash for clunkers' burns through a cool $1 billion in a week: This program was supposed to run until fall. Another reason these guys should not run our health care?

Health Official Have to be Healthy and Trim?: No but it is hard to take a fat doctor serious when they tell you to lose weight. Think a doctor with a smoke hanging out of his mouth telling you that smoking is bad for you.

Land mine left in Goodwill donation box: Goodwill enters arms race. Says they will fight against the Salvation Army and their "Axis of Evil."

Peeing in The Public Pool: One In Five People Do It: Ewwwwwwww!

Teen Tries to Auction Off Naked Pics of Mom: Sicker than usual.

NYC aids homeless with one-way tickets home: Should read, "NYC to Homeless, Get Out!"

Lottery Winner Can't Stop Losing: My heart bleeds, really it does.

This is totally gonna be my daughter -

When is it OK for kids to run around naked?: Uhhhhhh, this is news?

So ends tonight's musings on the idiocy that is the human species.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd. The Pope said, "Did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice." Pelosi seriously doubts this, and says, "One little wave of your hand, and all people will rejoice forever?? Show me," she said.

So the Pope slapped her...

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

A man walks into an antique store looking for something for his wife. After browsing the shelves for a bit, he asks the shopkeeper for some advice. The shopkeeper says to the man, "I have this rare and unique gift your wife might like." The man asks what it is, and the shopkeeper pulls out a golden rat statue. The shopkeeper shows it to the man and says, "This costs ten dollars, but the story behind it will cost you one hundred." The man declines the story, but purchases the golden rat. He is walking down the street he notices that some rats are following him. He continues on his way, but notices that more rats are starting to following him. The man notices that rats are pouring out of everywhere and following him. He starts to run, but by now thousands of rats are chasing him. The man starts to get really frightened and runs towards the lake. He runs to the end of the pier and tosses the statue into the drink. All of the rats jump into the water and soon drown. The shopkeeper looks up and notices the man has returned. "Ah!" he says, "You have returned for the story." "Hell no!" the man says, "I came back to see if you have a golden statue of a liberal."

Props to G-Man for this one he told me over lunch.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Professor Gates/Cambridge PD Incident

I have written a letter asking for Professor Gates' take on the events that led to his arrest and accusations of racial profiling on the part of a Cambridge, Massachusetts Police Sergeant. The contents of the letter are posted below. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Professor Gates,

First, allow me to introduce myself. My name is &*^% $#@*!^%$. I am a blogger for a conservative blog titled Right Wing Extreme. I come from a very multicultural/ethnic family. Having seen the effect of racism first hand, I have very little tolerance for racism or the practitioners thereof. Having said that, I attempt to comment on racism when it rears its ugly head and through my blog bring it to my readers attention. In that vain, I am interested in the events that occurred on 7/16/2009 involving yourself and the Cambridge Police Department. The news articles are short on details, and my readers and I would like some clarification. I feel confident that your legal representative has prepared a written press statement. If possible I would like to receive a copy of said statement, if such exists. Additionally I wonder if you would consent to a short written interview conducted through e-mail. Racism is an ugly, ugly practice, and I hate to think that the men who are charged with protecting society from this sort of thing might be practitioners of such an act. Your response is greatly appreciated and anticipated.

Sincerely,
&*^% $#@*!^%$
Right Wing Extreme

I also have written a letter to the public information office of the Cambridge PD that e-mail is posted here as well.

To whom it may concern,

First, allow me to introduce myself. My name is &*^% $#@*!^%$. I am a blogger for a conservative blog titled Right Wing Extreme. I am interested in the events that occurred on 7/16/2009 involving the Cambridge Police Department and Professor Gates. The news articles are short on details, and my readers and I would like some clarification. I feel confident that your legal representatives have prepared a written press statement. If possible I would like to receive a copy of said statement, if such exists.Your response is greatly appreciated and anticipated.

Sincerely,
&*^% $#@*!^%$
Right Wing Extreme

I hope to hear from both sides in this incident soon, and bring you the results of these e-mails.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Racism or False Alarm: An Update

On Tuesday Cambridge PD and the Middlesex County DA dropped the disorderly conduct charges against Professor Gates. I posted this story on Monday. I had at least two details incorrect, is was day time and the woman who phoned police was not a neighbor, just a passer by. I have removed the remainder of this post until I receive responses to my e-mails for clarification and information from the interested parties.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

An oldy but a goody:

WOMAN IN A HOT AIR BALLOON

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help tome."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat"

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Notable Quotes

In a mature society, 'civil servant' is semantically equal to 'civil MASTER'.
- Lazarus Long(R. A. Heinlein) -

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Racism or False Alarm

I read this story today about a man who was arrested for breaking in to his own house. Now as I understand the story, this man's door was stuck and he had to force it open. He was jamming his shoulder into the door after dark, to try to get it open. A neighbor saw this activity and called the police. When the police arrived, Professor Gates was already in his house and refused to talk to the responding officer, accusing the officer of racism. The officer said that gates only produced a Harvard ID, and accused him of racial bias. The Prof said that he also produced a drivers license and targeted, "[B]ecause I am a black man in America." Professor Gates was arrested on a, "disorderly conduct charge after police said he "exhibited loud and tumultuous behavior." Professor Gates' lawyer, Ogletree[,] also disputed the claim that Gates, who was wearing slacks and a polo shirt and carrying a cane, was yelling at the officer. "He has an infection that has impacted his breathing since he came back from China, so he's been in a very delicate physical state," Ogletree said. The Rev. Al Sharpton is vowing to attend Gates' arraignment. Completely unrelated to this story, yet included for some reason, "Allen Counter, who has taught neuroscience at Harvard for 25 years, said he was stopped on campus by two Harvard police officers in 2004 after being mistaken for a robbery suspect. They threatened to arrest him when he could not produce identification."

As I have stated previously, I have a very multicultural/racial family. Racism totally sends me 'round the bend, but false accusations of racism put me in a whole new dimension of pissed-off. Having examined these feelings, and knowing my responses to them, I will try to maintain impartiality.

My dad gave me some advice when I got to the age where interaction with the police became a possibility (read likelihood). Some of that advice is totally irrelevant, but the part that was not amounted to, be respectful to the police. I.E. Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir. Another part was to always follow the directions that a police officer gave me. Now I come from Texas where a cop is just as likely to shoot you as arrest you, if you gave him trouble. Cops in Texas don't take a lot of guff. Dad told me that it will all get sorted out in the end, and after the dust-up was the time to deal with any impropriety on the police man's part. Being argumentative and unhelpful is a good way to get your damn-fool head blown off or stove in, so keep it together and worry about the nonsense later. Good advice that has always stood me well.

First I will start with Professor Gates' stupidity. The cop was there to protect this man's house. Being rude to cop was definitely uncalled for. If there was any racial profiling at all, it was on the part of the neighbor. She is the one who saw a black man trying to force his way into a house and called the police, but I find it unlikely that she worried about the color of the man forcing the door, she was trying to help a neighbor. I think that the chances are good that Professor Gates refused to show the officer his drivers license, which would have probably cleared up everything in short order. I feel it is a good bet that Professor Gates yelled at the policeman. Professor gates probably felt that the officer was singling him out for being black. Granted there is much conjecture there but I think I have a good handle on where Gates went wrong.

Now let's look at the cop and where he probably screwed up. Professor Gates said he repeatedly asked the cop for his name and badge number. Policemen hate this routine. It ranks up there with, "I pay my taxes and that pays your salary." The one time I asked for an officers name and badge number he got snotty with me and also refused. Granted cops have name tags and the badge number is there for all to see, but they don't tend to be forthcoming with this information in tense situations. This officer should have ascertained if Professor Gates was who he claimed to be and if the house was indeed rented to him and then gone on about his business, especially after Professor Gates pulled the race card. But I bet short odds that the racism accusation, badge and name routine probably got his goat and so he arrested Prof Gates out of pique. Again a lot of conjecture.

Now I obviously wasn't there, but this routine is played out all the time, but here is how I see it. The cop was just doing his job making sure that the man he was confronted with had legal right to be in the house. Professor Gates was likely to quick to call the cop a racist just cause he is a black man in what is probably perceived to be a "white" neighborhood. Professor Gates' accusations and uncooperative attitude annoyed Johnny Law so he cuffed him.

By and large real racism is a thing of the past, but many black people, especially men for some reason, feel that anytime an officer of the law talk to them it is because they are black. It obviously had nothing to do with looking like he was breaking into a house. Professor Gates should have cooperated, calmly with the officer so they could both be about their respective business, and then, if he felt the officer was being inappropriate, filed a complaint. Standing on pride over something as foolish as this, well Gates is just lucky the cop didn't didn't take a quick movement, such as one is likely to make when agitated, amiss and tase him.

Now as for Sharpton, it is well known that he lives for situations like this. He is not in it to help his black brothers and sisters, he is in it for his own benefit. Why are Sharpton and Jackson always part of the problem and never part of the solution? I feel, based on my upbringing in the South, that if this had been a case of true racism, then the cop would have roughed Gates up a bit, or more, not just busted him for disorderly conduct. If that had been the case, I would be howling for blood myself. I will watch this case with interest and provide updates as they become available, until then the jury is out.

On a related note, I send out this: Racism is such a juvenile thing. How kindergarten do you have to be to hate someone just cause the have a different skin color than you do? I have nothing but disgust and contempt for racists and their ilk. How petty are you that you can not just see a person who should be judged on their merits, something they can control, rather than how they were born. Worse however, are those who take advantage of people by screaming racism when a cop is doing his job, or someone is criticised for something having nothing to do with race. Calling someone a racist just because they are going about their business is racist in itself. Worse, it makes real incidences of racism fade into the background, and prevents the healing from a more barbaric time when racism was prevalent. The most egregious result of false accusation is it perpetuates stereotypes on both sides of the color line, breeds hate that leads to real racism, leads to the victim mentality and makes the world just that much worse. I plead with all, "a man should not be judged by his skin color but by the content of his character." Do not be so small and petty as to sink to these depths. Do not treat your fellow man different because of his color, do not falsely accuse each other of this vile sin. We have come too far to let small people drag us down to their sub-human level. These people are the scum of the earth, and I despise you all.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

Sad but probably true:

Obama bursts into the Oval Office after a meeting with Timothy Geithner, the Secretary of the Treasury. His secret service agent notices that he is in a rare ecstatic mood. The agent asks, "Sir, you seem in such a great mood, what has happened?" "Well," Obama says, "Tim and I found a way to make next year's tax return fit on a postcard." Excitedly the agent says, "How did you do that sir?" Obama replies, "Easy, we reduced the form to two criteria." Astonished the agent asked, "What are the two criteria sir?" Obama then replies, "Well first we ask the taxpayers how much money they make. Then we tell them to send it in."

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his election to President. The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Obama is a "post turtle." Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was. The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a "post turtle". The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dumb ass put him up there."

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

A task force consisting of a DEA, a BATFE and an FBI agent arrive at a ranch in western Nebraska.
The agents tell the rancher, "We need to inspect your ranch for illegal drugs."
"Help yourself," the old rancher says, "but don't go in that field over there."
The BATFE agent practically explodes. He whips out his badge, sticks it in the rancher's face. "Mister, we have the authority of the Federal Government behind us," he sneers, "and we'll go anywhere we damn well please. Got it ?!"
"Yes, sir," the rancher says.
"Good," the agent says. "Now you can go about your chores and we'll go about ours."
A few minutes later, the old rancher hears screams and looks up to see the agents in the field he warned them about. All three are running for there lives -- close behind is his biggest, meanest bull. With every step the bull is gaining on the agents. They are clearly terrified.
The old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs...
"Your badges! Show him your badges!"

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

Barack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disneyland.' Barack said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force 1'.

The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes. Barack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them!'

The third kid said, 'I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!' Barack was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like you're handicapped.'

The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!'

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!