Joke of the Week

Tip O' the Hat to my Dad for forwarding this on to me. Remember, the chance to take back our nation is only forty-three days away. Just an observation, I am posting this from my smart phone as right now I am on my way to Portland to see a doc about my knee, and it takes for freaking ever just to do a small post. It is a good thing I know html or this post would not look like it should, and that would really mess with my OCD.

Twas the Night Before Elections

Twas the night before the elections,
And all through the town,
Tempers were flaring,
Emotions all up and down.

I, in my bathrobe,
With a cat in my lap,
Had cut of the T.V.,
Tired of political crap.

When all of a sudden,
There arose such a noise,
I peered out my window,
And saw The Chosen One and his boys.

They wanted my wallet,
They wanted my pay,
To give to the others,
Who had not worked a day.

He snatched up my money,
Then quick as a wink,
Jumped back on his bandwagon,
As I gagged from the stink.

He then rallied his henchmen,
Who were pulling his cart,
I could tell they were out,
To tear my country apart.

On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Biden and Ayers,
On Acorn, on Pelosi,
He screamed at the pairs.

They took off for his cause,
And as they flew out of sight,
I heard him laugh at the nation,
Who would not stand up and fight.

So I leave you to think,
On this one final note,
If you don't want want Socialism,
Get out and vote.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES

Joke of the Week

Tip O' the Hat, again, to John M. who sent this one along. This is possibly the funniest political joke I have yet published. It is so funny in fact that even my wife, who is so tired of hearing about politics that she could just spit, laughed for over a minute.

Barack Obama met with the Queen of England. He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, my Queen?"

The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Tony, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.

Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice president the same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," said Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one..." He went to his advisers and asked every one, but none could give him an answer. Finally, he ended up in the men's room and recognized Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall.

Biden asked Powell, "Colin, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Colin Powell yelled back, "That's easy, it's me!"

Biden smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell!"

Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face, "No! you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

California:
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor starts to intervene and is bitten, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures coyote and bills the State $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dog which has died and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.

9. Additional cost to State of California: $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the State.


Arizona:
The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, boys and girls, is why California is broke ................

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week 2.0

Again thanks to my dad. Without his, and others, help I would have run out of jokes long ago.

Playboy just offered Sarah Palin $4 Million to pose nude in the July 2010 issue. Michelle Obama was offered 50 Bucks from National Geographic.

We all remember the "Hillary Meal," two small breasts and two big thighs. Now, KFC has announced an addition to their chicken dinners. It's called the Obama Cabinet Bucket. It consists of nothing but left wings and crusty gizzards.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

This probably isn't true but should be. H/T to G-Man, the source of many a joke here.

Whose says cops are not compassionate

Associate Press (AP News)

The Lexington, Kentucky Police Department reports finding a man's body in the Kentucky River just west of the Clays Ferry Bridge. The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive alcohol consumption. He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink g-string, a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick, and an Obama t-shirt. He also had a cucumber in his rectum.

The police removed the Obama t-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.

The Police do care.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week 3.0

Hat Tip to G-Man for this one:

BIRTHDAY REMINDER!

This week we celebrate a special birthday:

Monica Lewinsky turns 44.

Can you believe it?

It seems like only yesterday that she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, and putting everything in her mouth.

They grow up so fast .............

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!