Joke of the Week

Tip O' the Hat to Just A Conservative Girl for this week's joke. I saw it on her site, and it was just too good to resist.

The Hair Cut...

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Sacrificed on the Altar of Political Correctness

You are all going to have to pardon me, as I am not sure I will be able to keep this from descending into a shrill, incoherent morass, but I promise to put forth my best effort. On November twelfth this nation sacrificed forty-four people to the great bitch-goddess of Political Correctness. I find this to be intolerable. In what universe is this acceptable? This terrorist skid-mark in the undershorts of America made his intentions known by every method short of taking out newspaper ads or billboards, and the powers that be did nothing. Sure The Chosen One mouthed pleasantries and platitudes at the memorial service, but not once did he call this massacre what it was, TERRORISM. He urged us,"to not jump to conclusions." I am a simple southern boy, and maybe I missed the memo, but when a Jihadist screams "Allahu Akbar" and opens fire on a crowd of American soldiers, I am going to think that is an act of terrorism.

Just because Hasan was not a member of Al Quida, Hamas or Hezbollah does not make Major Hasan less of a terrorist. There was no tip-toeing through the tulips when Timothy McVeigh blew up the Murrah Federal Building. Not one politician or newsie pulled a punch when describing the Unabomber. So why do they flinch now? Because it might offend the Muslim community. Well damn the "Muslim Community" anyway. It offends me that they do not stand up to the extremists in their midst. The stand silently by and do nothing while murderers blow up building and butcher innocents because their religious leaders, THEIR LEADERS, tell them slaughter is pleasing to God. The "Muslim Community" is part of the problem rather than part of the solution.

Recently I read that the Chief of Naval Operations, Admiral Gary Roughead announced in Annapolis that "diversity is the number one priority" at the Naval Academy. Odd, I thought the number one priority of The Naval Academy should be training the future leaders of the Navy and the Marine Corps to be excellent military leaders. I was unaware that our tax dollars were going to touchy feely diversity training. The job of our military is to break the enemy's toys and to kill him, not to make recruits feel good about how "tolerant" today's military is. I am in shock at this trend, and find it deeply disturbing.

This ranks right up there with giving out a trophy to every child because they participated and not keeping score so they will feel good about themselves. Would you like to know what made me feel good about myself when I was a child? Winning the damn game. If my team lost the coach did not tell us oh well, at least you tried. NO! he worked us harder in practice until we won the damn games. As Admiral Jones Ingram said, "We've got no place in this outfit for good losers. We want tough hombres who will go in there and win!"

I have seen very little on the part political correctness played in these murders. though there is some. If the powers that be had not been afraid to to offend a few people, maybe step on some toes, then this disaster would never have happened. How did this happening to my country? How have we fallen so low? When did it become more important to make sure a terrorist feels good about the consequences of his actions than to protect American Citizens? If this is where the road headed down, do we even deserve to survive?

Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory.
- General George Patton Jr

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

American Patriot/Hero of the Week

This week RWE celebrates Thomas Jefferson. With the current climate in American Politics today, I feel that the lessons we can learn from one of our greatest Founding Fathers to be particularly apropo. Besides being our third President and Renaissance Man, Jefferson was a paragon of the values this great country was founded upon. Republicanism stresses liberty and rights as central values, makes the people as a whole sovereign, rejects inherited political power, expects citizens to be independent in their performance of civic duties, and is strongly inclined against corruption. Jefferson was an independent man who exhorted other to follow in his footsteps. He foresaw the despotism of activist judges so common today and warned against it.

Jefferson railed against tyranny in all forms, and encouraged others to do so as well. In a letter to William S. Smith he wrote, "And what country can preserve its liberties, if the rulers are not warned from time to time, that this people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms." Jefferson was a believer in one's right to protect one's self, family and property. He defended the right to bear arms on an individual basis when he wrote, "Laws that forbid the carrying of arms ... disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes ... Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man."

Jefferson played a pivotal role in winning this country's freedom. He warned future generations against the tyranny that could so easily engulf our fledgling nation then and in the future when he wrote , again to William S. Smith, "The tree of liberty must from time to time be refreshed with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Jefferson reminds us that our government rules at the sufferance of the people. Jefferson's principle that the government rules with, and by, the consent of the governed is most evident in the Preamble of the Declaration of Independence. [G]overnments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed; that whenever any form of government shall become destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, & to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles & organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety & happiness." This is a lesson that today's leaders would be wise to remember.

Jefferson was not a perfect man. Like all heroes and patriots mentioned her,e he was merely mortal. There is great evidence that her fathered several children with one of his slaves. For all that he tried to free the slaves in the Deceleration of Independence, and wrote papers against the practice, he too was a slave owner. This should not however, detract from the greatness of a great man. I would be terribly interested to hear what he has to say about the current situation our great nation finds itself in.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Joke of the Week

Tip o' the hat, once again, to my dad. Enjoy the laugh.

The Chosen One was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation in upstate New York .

He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. He referred to his time as a U.S. Senator and how he had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.

Although The President was vague about the details of his plans, he seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about his ideas for helping his “red sisters and brothers.”

At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented The Chosen One with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, “Walking Eagle.” The proud President then departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.

A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to the President.

They explained that “Walking Eagle” is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

Am I Just too Sensitive?

Just now I saw the above commercial for kayak.com. I suggest you watch it, if you can stomach it. For those who can not, allow me to describe it for you. An old man is packing a bag, in walks a younger man, his son I assume, and asks if the old man is going on a trip. The old man says he is returning to where it all began, and from the army picture on the wall, his age and the description of a combat beach landing, I assume this to be a D-Day reunion. The entire time the old man is talking, an old fashioned arrival/departure board is showing travel options. As the old vet reaches the climax of his speech, Cancun comes up on the board, and the son smiles. They are trying for a double entendre, and humor, but I find nothing funny about two hundred nine thousand allied deaths, especially when they are making light of such a massacre for profit. There is now way in hell that I will ever book anything with kayak.com. If I wanted to visit my family in Texas, and Kayak was the last travel agency on the planet, I would walk over hot coals for two thousand miles, rather than book a flight with these skid-marks. If they think that veterans are some joke, especially the greatest of us all, or not worthy of our attention and respect, than I REFUSE to give them my business. I will be boycotting them, and if it remains a boycott of one forever, than I am good with that. Commercials are meant to influence our purchasing decisions, and I must say this travesty of a commercial has certainly helped make up my mind, though I am sure not in the way they planned. Perhaps I am just too sensitive. I admit I have a dog in this fight and might not be objective, but somehow I doubt it. Tell me what you think about this commercial. All opinions welcome.

-----UPDATE-----

An anonymous reader posted a "Contact Us" link for Kayak.com so that I could gripe directly to the company that had ticked me off. I sent the following rant:

Due to your advertisement making fun of veterans, I will NEVER book anything with your company. Your sense of humor is deplorable. I have encouraged others to likewise boycott your company. I hope to soon see your company declaring bankruptcy.

I have to give Kayak props though, the CMO responded less than twelve hours later with this:

Dear Sir,

I just read your e-mail, and I'm very sorry that our ad offended you. We definitely meant no disrespect. I have the utmost respect and gratitude for our veterans and the sacrifices they've made for us. I know what they did for us. I personally have many family members who have served or are currently serving including my father. One of our co-founders father's served in WWII as did the main actor's father. The ad is intended to convey that the character is poking fun at himself. We've also received positive feedback including from current service members and veterans though I'm not discounting your sentiments at all. Again, I sincerely apologize, and we certainly did not mean to offend you.

Respectfully, Robert

I leave it for you to decide what they meant, but as for me, I stand by my original sentiments.

-----UPDATE 2.0-----

Today (12/7/09) I sent another email to Mr. Birge, thanking him for his quick response, and to let him know that his defense of the ad was posted. That pesky sense of fairness. Within two hours, he had responded to that email as well. For all that they have offended my sensibilities, I have got to give them credit, they read the gripes and are not afraid to respond. Here is what I wrote:

Mr. Birge,

I do appreciate your quick reply to my gripe. I have not changed my opinion on the humor of your commercial, though I do believe it more a case of poor taste (my opinion) rather than maliciousness. I understand, and have even seen, that there is positive feedback on this commercial. I try to keep a good sense of humor about most topics, and often laugh at my own absurdity, and even usually see the humor when my beliefs are lampooned. However, there is a growing trend to make our veterans, of which I am one, a target of ridicule and other humor that is in poor taste. It generally takes much to offend me, but this trend, and it's effects, do the job effectively. I urge you to take a close look at the content of future advertisements, as I am not the only one that found this particular ad disrespectful. If you were to continue to advertise with similar content, even tongue-in-cheek and innocently, it would definitely inflame many of a similar mindset to myself. While I still am not happy about the ad, I do however have a sense of fairness, and as such, posted your letter explaining the ad as an addendum to my original blog post. Once again, I thank you for your response, as well as the rapidity in responding. This shows a dedication to customer service that is severely lacking from most companies in this day and age.

Thank You,
Right Wing Extreme
http://www.peoplesrepublicofamerica.blogspot.com/

His reply:

Dear Sir,

I appreciate your note back. Veteran's are one group that I would never intentionally ridicule, and I'm not a sensitive type. We truly did mean things in a different way, and I definitely didn't take your e-mail as a gripe.

With respect.

Robert

Props for the quick response, but I have to disagree, even I would call my original email to Kayak a gripe.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

American Patriot/Hero of the Week

I delayed Patriots and Heroes to brag on catching my criminal, but now back to business. This week's hero is a Marine, but I will not hold that against him. Sergeant Jeremiah Workman was born on August 26, 1983 in Marion Ohio. Sgt. Workman enlisted in The Corps prior to graduating high school, and became a mortarman. Workman fought in The Second Battle of Fallujah (Operation Phantom Fury), where his battery bombarded many an insurgent. After the battle, Sgt. Workman's platoon patrolled the streets as part of the security force subduing the city. During a patrol, a squad commanded by his friend, Sgt. Jarrett Kraft, was ambushed by insurgents. Sgt. Workman performed many acts of bravery during this encounter, and the citation for his Navy Cross can be found here. These actions make the Sergeant both Hero and Patriot in my view, but there is more to his story.

Sgt. Workman has somewhat of an "aww shucks" attitude about his brave actions that day, something that is much more common in television and movies than in real life. Sgt. Workman openly admits to being frightened, having to will himself into combat, PTSD, shedding tears, depression and the weakness of using alcohol to deal with his problems. All of these things violate the cult of manhood in general, and the attitude that the general public expects of a United States Marine in particular. His openness about these issues raises him immeasurably in my esteem, as it should in yours. Sergeant Workman shines the light on PTSD, drags it out into the light and strangles it with both hands. He aides others in their efforts to deal with this often debilitating disorder, and is brave enough to be candid about his own struggles with this disorder and the effects it has had on his family. Many featured in "American Patriot/Hero of the Week" are good, brave men, but I can not think of anyone else I have featured quite as brave as Sgt. Workman.

It is often far easier to be brave under fire, when all you have to do is look out for yourself and your mates, and all you risk is death. A more difficult task, is to openly, and publicly, face your demons when you do not have to, and risk stigmatization and humiliation which is often worse than death. This is especially true for men. We are expected to be brave and to deal with the worst life can throw out with noting more than a witty quip, and this holds doubly true for one as "tough" as we expect a Marine to be. Sgt. Workman rejects this image that society has forced upon his brothers, and tells the sufferers of this most "unmanly" of disorders to get help. In his recent book "Shadow of the Sword" Sgt. workman exhorts us all, "We need to reframe the debate, change the perception of PTSD in the country at large, and find ways to show the real consequences of combat in Hollywood epics. Until that happens, there will be plenty of good men and women who live in despair, unwilling to reach out and admit they can't battle this demon on their own. The stereotype and the stigma associated with PTSD must be destroyed. There are lives at stake."

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!

RWE Practices the Second Amendment

I have been very busy slaving away in the salt mines, banging out tests on an eCommerce website. This entails something I am not used to anymore, working weekends. Yeah, yeah, I can hear all your hearts breaking out there in the bloggosphere. I woke up and went about my morning routine. At twenty until eight, coffee in hand, I kissed the wife, and headed out the door. I went down the stairs and headed to my car, which was parked in the parking lot across the street. It was then that I noticed that there was someone sitting in my car. I am now thinking, "No Way!" I am in such a state of shock, that I have to double check that, a, this is actually my car, and b, that there was some dude I did not know sitting there, in MY car.

I put my bag and coffee down on the trunk of my wife's car ,which was parked in the driveway, and went back inside the house. I decided to offer this impromptu socialist, intent on redistributing some of my wealth, a bit of the "New America" that Dear Leader has promised us all. I grabbed the phone, dialed 911, retrieved my security system and jacked a shell into the chamber. I returned to my car "Hoping" to catch this guy and "Change" him into a corpse.

I surprised this dip-shit, jammed my shotgun under his nose and yelled, "What's up meth-head!" Still on the phone, the dispatcher is rather concerned at this point, and I can hear her yelling for me to talk to her. This douche then moves a bit and I yell a warning to not move and cast an aspersion on his possible fornication with his mother. At some point the guy just takes off running. I yell for him to stop, then to come back and finally not to make me chase him. He, of course, keeps running. I decide that the local district attorney might be just contrary enough to decide it was murder if I popped a shot into the guy's back, you never can tell with district attorneys.

So I quickly switch 911 over to the cell phone, and take off after my new bestest friend. I feel it necessary at this point to tell you that from the police station, I live sixty yards as the crow flies, or three hundred yards as the perp runs. The police busted this idiot just as he rounded the corner, and dispatch told me that they were requesting my presence. I arrive on the scene, and find out from the officer that this person had spent the night in my car because he was too drunk to make it home, and it was too cold to pass out just anywhere. The officer asked me if anything was missing from my car, like my stereo. I told the cop that is my friend had taken my stereo, then the joke was definitely on him. In the interest of fairness I must now describe my car to you. I drive a '93 Buick Regal Custom that has definitely seen better days. It has a factory stereo of 4"x4" in dash variety, and the volume knob does not even work. The rest of the car is much the same as I use it only to commute back and forth from work and getting around town.

The officers start to put this guy in their car and I tell him to enjoy jail and possibly compared him to a rectal opening. One of the officers tells me that this was not necessary to which I reply, "I disagree, but alright." The cop and myself go through the vehicle to catalog the damage. This guy smoked meth in my car, making it smell, stole approximately $1.50 in loose change and broke my cup holder. Honestly some people have no respect for their homes. At this point the cop starts to take his leave, and wishes me to have a better day. Being from the south, and rather worked up, I respond in my Texan drawl, which resurfaces at time such as these, "Hell officer, I done caught me a criminal, it don't get to be a much better day than that." The officer looks at me a little disbelievingly and says, "WOW! Alright then."

I have to admit that this was a particularly fine day because of these events, but my wife is still somewhat mortified that I was out in the street, "waving my shotgun around" and screaming curses at the top of my lungs while my extremely leftist neighbors were out on their porch enjoying their morning coffee. I do not know what she is so worked up over, after all I am not the one breaking into cars. I have also failed to mention, that this guy was so frightened, that he pissed his pants, literally, sometime during these proceedings. I seriously doubt, due to the level of sheer terror that this guy felt, caused by an angry, screaming, cursing, gun wielding red-neck, that he will be returning to my street any time soon. I also fervently hope that this experience will teach him to be more careful about his choice in temporary domiciles in the future.

All-in-all, I am very proud of this guys capture, and my small part therein. It really brightened an otherwise crap day. I offer this advice to my friend, and others of his ilk, beware which car you break into, if you can see my house, you are within range. I have included this guys name and mug-shot so graciously provided by the county jail roster.

Macario I.

Arrested for:
Criminal Mischief II
Criminal Trespass II

-----UPDATE-----

Here is a study in the different between a victim and a predator mentality. After hearing about my Sunday fun, two ladies I work with asked me a question. In all seriousness they asked me why I had to confront my intruder with a shotgun. Not getting what they really meant I answered equally serious, "Because the pistols were too far away, and the .22 is too small and ineffective." Neither of us understood the others statement, but at least my answer will get me home at the end of the day instead of in a bag at the morgue.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND DEATH TO HER ENEMIES!